A couple weeks ago Jason was rude. And I mean, weird rude.
To me it seemed totally irrational and out of nowhere, and in 20+ years of knowing him, I should know...because Jason's not rude. It's not his nature or in his character to be rude. He's the most thoughtful man I know.
I mean, I had bought extra hot dogs and sausages. For most guys, I’d be wearing a “Bonus Wife” crown and sash, maybe even holding a bouquet of flowers. Any woman who bears extra hot dogs and sausages is automatically enrolled in the “Wife of the Year” club. Clearly everyone knows this…except, apparently Jason?
I pulled into the garage from running to the grocery store. Our dear friends were coming over to celebrate birthdays and Jason had decided we’d have burgers and brats...they’d bring a big salad. I'd make yummy cupcakes.
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Since starting Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University” I am almost exclusively our grocery getter. I’m the one with the cash for food purchases, where Jason’s cash is allocated for lunches during the work week. Emily had gone with me to the store, and as we assessed who would be having dinner, I asked Em if she wanted burgers or brats for dinner. She said, "Can the kids have hot dogs, instead? I said, "Sure, no problem." She shouted an emphatic “NICE,” gave me the “gag me with a spoon” face she always gives me when the word “brats” is mentioned, and then said, “ As long as the hot dogs were all natural without additives, nitrates, or nitrites.” You know, no lips and asses. We laughed and gave each other that, “I don’t even WANT to know what is in those other hot dogs!” look.
Anyway, back to the story…
So, it was a Sunday afternoon. Ryan was down for his nap while Em and I were at the store and Jason was hanging out, watching a little football. He came out to the garage to help carry in bags once he heard the door open. As he grabbed for several bags in the trunk he quietly said, “Why did you buy hot dogs? Why do you always second guess me?”
I was all, “Whoa…are you okay? Why are you being passive aggressive?”
Jason, “I’m not being passive aggressive! I decided we were having burgers and brats and you second guessed my plan and bought hot dogs.”
I said, thinking to myself what on earth is going on with Jason, “Emily asked if she could have hot dogs. We only had a pound of ground beef and 3 brats, so with 4 adults and three kids, 3 of which don’t eat brats, I decided to get some hot dogs, and a little extra ground beef, too, just in case. But what’s really going on, why on earth are you so upset about hot dogs?”
Jason, “I’m not upset. I just don’t like how you always second guess me.”
Me, “Sweetheart, I am really, really sorry. I’m really sad that you feel I second guess you! I totally trust you. As the one who usually does the hosting, I just wanted to make sure we had enough food. Have you felt like this a long time? I’m really sorry. I had no idea you felt so strongly about this or that you've been feeling this way for so long...you did use the word, "always." If this is how you’ve felt all along why haven’t you told me?”
Jason, “No. Nothing’s bothering me…it’s fine…it’s not what I meant, it came out wrong.”
I froze, really sad in my heart, like grieved-ish, that I did something to cause my non-reactive husband to be so distraught over bratwurst. I started to throw up my walls. Jason was dressed in his mountain biking gear, so I told him to leave and think about what was going on and we could talk about it when he got home, but we both needed space…over an 8-pack of nitrate-free hotdogs…and a little extra ground beef.
After about an hour and a half Jason came home from his bike ride.
He said, “I’m sorry I overreacted about the brats. When you got home you opened the garage door and Lady started barking, Ryan wasn’t going down for his nap, and the Redskins had just lost.”
OH. MY. FRIGGING. WORD.
Me, “Are you kidding me?! This was all because the Redskins suck? Sweetheart, the Redskins haven’t been good ever since you liked them in the ‘80’s. I’m just glad it wasn’t something more serious! You are lucky I love you and realize you had a moment of sheer stupidity to treat me like that because of the lack of athletic performance from a football team.”
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Oh yeah…AND, guess what EVERYONE but Emily wanted for dinner?
It's a good thing the grass-fed ground beef was on sale, thankyouverymuch, Dave Ramsey!