Yep. I'm over it.
I'm over blogging.
At least today I am so over blogging.
I am sick of posting about my kid that died.
I don't have time to post about the one that was just born because I am too busy spending time with him.
The 8 year old keeps me busier than busy.
I don't remember the last time I truly, really, I mean really, really, really showered.
Having an 8 year old meant that I had slept thru the night for the previous 7 years.
I'm not sure when I'll ever do that again.
It's one of those days.
I am cranky.
I don't even remember the last time I sat across a table from my husband for more than 2 minutes...and don't remember the last time I wanted to...and I'm sure there's a "vice versa" here...
He's tired.
I'm tired.
Ryan and Emily and Lady the dog don't seem all that exhausted...they seem quite rested seeing as how Ry naps throughout the day and most of the night...except when he squirms and squeaks...oh, and let's see, Lady pretty much naps all day long with the exception of when she has her freaking crazy hour right before it's time for bed and she wants to play ball and tug with her chew toys...and Emily, what about her? Since we've been homeschooling she has somehow managed to coerce her two middle-aged exhausted parents into thinking that allowing her to stay up a little later each night is a good idea.
This all equals exhaustion, crankiness, despondency and low quality high carb-consumption on the part of yours truly.
Oh, and since Em's hitting the sack later that means the only time I've seen my husband in the last 3 and a half months was at 3 recent Christmas parties...one attended by 30 people, another by 700+ and another with approximately 70.
Oh yeah, and since we're homeschooling, that means the last time I was all alone, all by myself, without anyone needing me was....ummmmm.....huh?! I guess it was when I was...I'm thinking, give me a minute...oh yeah, when I was in my MOTHER'S WOMB!!!!!!
And, I've realized that I still hate Christmas in the "American Consumerism Time-Sucking Gimme Gimme Gimme" sense of the word.
Somehow, someday, I want to figure out how to celebrate the Birth of Christ for what it truly is...the day the Savior of the whole wide world was born to save us from ourselves. It's something I am thankful for on a daily basis...so the pressure to make this specific time of year uber-spiritual is kind of frustrating!
So, how is your day?
You dont know me, but I hear you, esp about Christmas comercialism.
ReplyDeleteThis week we started following Ann Voskamps daily reading and activities for Advent. We just started way late so we need to do 2-3 readings a day, but we work it into meals. Then each reading gets a title that we pick and we decorating our tree (stump and shoot) with leaves of meaning leading up to Christs birth. Not sure if that is something for you but we are really enjoying it.
(Im a homeschooling mum in Australia)
A friend's little six year old daughter just had a heart surgery and had a challenging recovery. She had a blood clot that the drs didn't know about and she was getting weaker and weaker every day while no one knew what to do for her. She is now fine, they found it and removed it. However, during the dark days where they didn't know if she would live, my friend wrote this:
ReplyDeleteI have been reminded of several things. First, the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas is not about family. It is not about being together or even having pleasant circumstances, it is about rejoicing in the birth of Christ our Savior to the exclusion of all else. Those other things are blessings, extra joys he bestows on us. Funny how we don't even realize how all that celebrating get wrapped up in circumstances, family and personal happiness until it is potentially stripped away. It is as if a curtian is pulled back and you see clearly a division between the single truth and all the other things that wrap themselves around that single truth and how we begin to think that all of it is that is truth. Does that make sense?
I thought those were pretty impacting words. And I was reminded of them when I read your post this morning.
Hope you get some sleep soon! :)
Hey. I was going to mention Ann Voskamp's blog and Advent devotional, but I see Joyce beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteHomeschooling/mama/wife= no time for yourself UNLESS you make time. Have someone watch those babies for you while you and Jason have a date night or a nap time. Whichever works for you. You'll get through it!
Adrienne,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I know you're frustrated but I couldn't help but smile reading this... been there!
Yes, as SG said, you've GOT to plan time for yourself. It's as important, maybe more, than any homeschool subject you'll teach.
And it's probably too late to mention, but we always had "Christmas School" all through December. Took a break from the regular curriculum, making cookies, crafts, reading Christmas books and watching movies all became part of 'school'.
...now that I think about it, I kinda miss it. But you're a few years off from that, so just hang in there and give yourself a break!
When my second kiddo came along and had reflux I thought ONE MINUTE was a long time. I hear you on just needing a little while alone or with your hubby. It does get better. I know you know that. But know that it's also TOTALLY FINE to rant. Could you get away for an hour or so by yourself...just to sit and read mindless magazines and sip coffee at Barnes and Noble? For some crazy reason, that always helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Anyhow, know you are not alone in feeling this way and you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteNot as cruddy as yours but still having a hard time finding my smile.
ReplyDeleteI won't try to encourage you - it would likely 'sound' insincere - I'm sorry you are having a rough day and hope the next few days get better.
i just read this blog and thought of you. someone may have already given you this link to a need (newly diagnosed lyme's disease family), but if not, just wanted to do it. hoping for much rest ahead for you.
ReplyDeletehttp://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2010/12/red-wine-poached-pears-slow-cooker.html
p.s. the info is all the way at the end of the post.
ReplyDeleteby the way, you may already follow this blog. but if you don't, it is a great resource for freeing up time. i use my crock pot ALL the time. so, just an extra little bonus in getting this link. ;)
LOVE YOU GIRL!!! Being exhausted really really sucks. A few good nights of sleep does an exhausted person a WORLD of good. It may not happen right away, but have hope... you will one day sleep again and have some time back for your own sanity. Hopefully sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, my friend.
I just wrote about those exact christmas sentiments. It saddens me to no end that the meaning of CHRISTmas has been so lost.
ReplyDeletePlease never forget (dispite the hour and how much sleep you haven't gotten and how gulity you may feel for venting about thos or that on your blog) that YOU are such an inspiration to countless countless women....myself being one such person. I admire your honesty, your creativity, the love you have for Christ as well as the endless love you show that darling family.....the list could go on.
Enjoy those sweet little baby boy cheeks and that amazingly contagious big girl smile. You my blogging world friend can handle anything!
We've been doing an advent calendar and it's great because it's only 10 minutes (at the most) to do daily or do several at a time...And I feel you on the blogging thing!
ReplyDeleteI pray you have an AMAZING Christmas!
I totally agree with the whole Christmas attitude I want the same thing. Keep you head up! God Bless!
ReplyDelete