Three months ago today I died.
You see, when we had the big ethics meeting back in November or December, I sat in there with a bunch of people, some family, some friends, loving caretakers, and some random strangers, and in the midst of feeling like I was pleading for someone to step up to the plate and take a chance to try to save our son, whether it be experimental or what, I said out loud, "I am going to die if my son dies. I know I won't be able to live..."
Well, I can honestly say that on January 12th, I died along with Noah. I died to the life of 35 years that I had previously lived. I died to myself, and though I was born again for eternity 20 years prior because of Christ, I died to my own selfish pursuits in life.
I'm so happy I died. I feel like I can finally live!