The main reason this blog was started was to update family and friends while we were at Children's in Denver of Noah's critical care. We were on the phone too much and wanted to spend our time cuddling Noah, encouraging Em and researching the endless world of medicine instead of sitting idly by assuming everyone else knew what they were doing...
The blog proved to be a great resource for people to check in and get updates and learn how to specifically pray for Noah's and our needs. Jason and I are both open people (though we do cherish privacy, as well) so sharing these things in such a venue was not difficult for us. Up until January 12th, the blog's main purpose remained as a bulletin board, if you will, for whoever by that time was checking in and praying for Noah, but it had also become my outlet. I had forgotten how much I loved writing and the blog was my pseudo journal of conversations in my head, heart and between me and God.
Some might ask why I would put such private moments out for anyone to see. I have no intentions of keeping this blog for attention's sake. I write my thoughts and ideas because in the course of Noah's short life, people who were asked to pray asked others to pray and told others about Noah. As a result, some of you have fallen in love with the little man who taught me about deeper love. Therefore, I write not only for myself, but to encourage whoever needs it that day. I know that we are not the only parents to experience such joy and heartache and I also know that many aren't ready to write or share those feelings. I am. I want those people who have faced what looked like the most devastating circumstances to know that they aren't alone and that there is hope and healing.
I write when I feel like writing. I write what I feel strongly led to write and when I don't write, it is my time for privacy. It's my day off. But I will continue to share, not only my processing, but stories and pictures of Noah, too. And in all of this, my hope is that honor will be brought to God and that healing will begin to take place in other peoples' lives where brokenness has set up residency in the place of hope and joy.
I will continue to be real as there are a lot of Christians who think that if you don't speak positive faith statements at all times then those bad things will happen in your life. I think that's a load of crap (that's a whole other blog entry...). If that's the case then mind over matter should rule the world and the war would have ended before it began and there would be no murder or cancer or car accidents. My point is, in being real, I am only trying to convey to you that walking with God in your life on earth will be hard at times. He can handle your true feelings since He knows them anyway. Just don't stay mad at Him since He's good, He's lovely, He loves you more than all creation, and He can't wait to be physically reunited with you in eternity. And, whether it's you walking through a hard time or someone you know, or have only recently met, I hope this blog helps you graciously endure through the thick of it.