This is supposed to be a post about thankfulness, a practice we do in our home on a regular basis, like "Top 10 of the Day" or "Tell me your 5 favorite things" or "What are some things for which you are thankful?", but one I desire to practice even more regularly, not just at night before bed, but all through the day.
The thing is, it's been a personal struggle to have an overall mental state of thankfulness when daily the majority of my reading has literally been a vivid history, or prophecy, of doom, gloom, death, despair, rape, rebellion, murder, starvation, anger, wrath, whores, and hatred. It's not difficult to see where ANY OTHER BOOK ON EARTH MIGHT BE MORE WONDERFUL TO READ RIGHT NOW.
There have been several times where I've thought, just screw it. I've read the Bible in its entirety, skipping around, so why am I doing this, this cover to cover thing, right now, in this stage of my life? Which is a fair question, it's not like I HAVE to read it, ever, really. It's not like I'm being forced, except I decided to do it, I gave the task and a beautiful group of women my word, and so I'm going to finish it, hopefully sooner than later, but I'm going to finish it. Because I'm good at starting things, but not great at finishing...
I think when things are smooth and clean and colorful and bright, even though I am thankful for such a state, I'm not positive I realize the depth of what it means to walk in gratefulness because it's all good. For me and my heart on this journey, being in the opposite state of anything for which I'd ever give thanks has allowed me to cherish the little and big things in the day to day.
Like, knowing there are red letter words where Jesus meets me face to face.
But now, I'm in the doom and gloom. And I'm not thankful for it.
Instead I'm thankful for:
- "Carry On, Warrior" by Glennon Melton and "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp (Treadmill/stationary bike reading)
- Our treadmill, and healthy legs to use it daily
- Yoga and the quiet before the Lord in the dark of our basement
- Little legs that run away from me, carrying a 3 year old tooshie, with laughter and flailing
- Snuggling in my bed or hers, book open, imaginations circling, sharing stories with my 11 year old girl
- Pretending to have tapas in Spain with my husband on date night over a glass of Spanish Red and olives, if even for an hour and a half
- A two-foot long branch of brussel sprouts on the counter
- Finally finding a dog groomer so Lady doesn't look like she has mange
- The peachy hue of the clouds at sunrise
- Whatever environmental factors which had to occur in order for our town to experience the most vibrant and colorful Fall in my memory
- Friendships which run deep, no matter the distance