So, I can't wait to post some pictures of my dad in a long skirt, but it will have to be in a couple of weeks, because as of today, my parents are off on a God-ordained adventure for which they have been praying about for over 12 years!!!!! My mom and dad are headed to Hawaii and Fiji, and though the destinations are glorious, the business is serious. (*FYI: my parents DRIVE everywhere b/c flying isn't their favorite, and my dad has never been a fan of leaving the good old U S of A)

My folks have had single moms on their hearts for years and have desired to build communities for them where their children can be safe and the moms provided with quality jobs to provide for their families. Well, through a series of jaw-dropping, "wow-God" events, my mom and dad, in their early 60's, are setting off to meet up with some contacts through Youth With A Mission (YWAM, Kona base) and some friends in Fiji of our dear friends here in Denver. They are going to pray and see what God has in store, as there are many battered women and single moms in Fiji.

I can't remember the name of the skirts the men wear there, but I'm looking forward to seeing my 6'5" dad in one, whatever they are called! Poor thing has been surrounded by us girls all his life and when God finally calls him overseas, it's to a nation where the men wear skirts, too! The closest we ever got our dad to 'embracing any femininity' was painting his gigantic toes while he napped on the couch one afternoon...anyway...

I'm so excited to hear and see what God has in store, not only for my folks in this, but our friends who have entrusted my parents with their vision for ministry in Fiji, and for us, as well. You see, I've dreamed of Fiji for years, but always as a vacation destination. Selfishly, I never gave much thought to the people of the nation. Next year on June 26th, Jason and I will celebrate our 15 year anniversary. We have been planning on going to Fiji for years and since Noah died, have decided we want to integrate ministry into our vacations. We also didn't want to go that far without Emily, so hopefully my parents will be in Fiji during that time, as well. So, unless Jesus returns before our departure, in one year from tomorrow, we'll be on a missions/anniversary celebration in Fiji, and my husband will be wearing a skirt!

Please pray along with us that the Holy Spirit would lead everyone involved, that my parents would have peace in their hearts as they are in His will, and that no plans or schemes of the enemy would prosper. God's in charge and I can't wait to see what He has in store!

Totally random...

Em and I have been housebound all week. Jason was in Texas (he just walked in the door and is reading Em a book right now) and Em had pink eye, congestion and a ruptured eardrum. Well, after a few days on antibiotics for her eardrum, we ventured out of the house late yesterday afternoon to run over to Dr. Julie's office for a refill of the smoothie powder I drink everyday. She had just finished with her last patient so came out to hang out and talk to me...

Me: I think I'm perimenopausal.

Dr. J: No, you're not.

Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. For 22 years I've been a 28-day girl and this month it was 21. I've been doing research. I have every symptom, especially forgetfulness...(slight drama in my tone...)

Dr. J: You are not perimenopausal. You need to switch from the soy smoothie to whey protein. It has built up an overabundance of estrogen because soy produces estrogen in your body. It's pretty simple...

Me: So, my uterus isn't falling out?!

Dr. J: No. Your uterus is not falling out!

Me: Okay, well, thanks. Have a good weekend...




So, Em and I headed home and made breakfast for dinner. I sat down to eat when the doorbell rang. I was on the phone with Jason so decided not to answer it since I am forbidden from making front door purchases. I figured it was a teenager selling magazines, so I kept talking to Jason. Well, the bell rang again. I peered through the peep hole and saw a petite teenager, just as I had suspected. I decided to open the door but with my phone in hand so that I could show the solicitor how very busy I was...As I opened the door, there is Emily's babysitter...

Me: Oh, hi! Come on in. I'll be off the phone in a minute...Jason, I have to go...

She pops right in the front door, puts her bags down and starts hanging out with Emily. Suddenly I realize that about two weeks prior, I had secured a babysitter for the night of the 21st while we held Bible study at our home. Well, Jason was out of town, one couple was celebrating their wedding anniversary, another was out of town visiting family and the other couple had already rescheduled for the 28th...

Still not knowing what to do since all week I had wanted to go out with different girlfriends but hadn't secured a babysitter with a sick kid, I decided that since a babysitter at this household is a rare commodity, I had to seize the opportunity.
Because I was taken so off guard, it took me an hour to actually leave the house, and even then, I didn't have a plan, but I knew I had some freedom, and baby I was taking it!

I told the babysitter I wanted Em in bed by 8:30 and that I'd be home by 9:30. I drove aimlessly for a few minutes until I decided that we needed toilet paper. So, on my one night of freedom, I hung out at Target for an hour and a half, buying toilet paper!!!!

Moral of the story: if you are getting forgetful, it may not be your old age...it may be that you are consuming too much SOY!

I finally had a dream the other day about Noah. It was my first one and I had been praying I could have one for a long time. He looked sweet and peaceful, like in the picture above, but he was alive and not attached to any mechanical crap! I had the dream while I was taking a quick afternoon snooze with Emily. She has a 'princess' canopy that hangs over her bed, and in my dream, Noah was lying on her bed, under the canopy, sleeping peacefully. I was able to snuggle with him but I couldn't remove him from the bed to carry him away in my arms. It didn't make me sad, though, in the dream.

When someone is no longer physically in your life, the smell, touch, sound are all removed, as well. Every person who has lost someone they love will always be able to cherish memories, no matter how many were made and in what amount of time. But dreams are so sweet to keep close what daily grows distant. They bring the past into the forefront of your mind, and for that I am so grateful...

This picture was taken while we walked around Sea World on our recent trip to Florida. If you can't make it out, in the background it says, 'JESUS LOVE U' and the foreground says, 'U + GOD = '. The pilot was still completing his thought. If I were to guess what the answer to that equation were to be, there are many I could speculate...perhaps 'U + GOD = PEACE or LOVE or HOPE or FREEDOM or ETERNAL LIFE or THE GREATEST RESTORED LOVE RELATIONSHIP SINCE THE LITTLE MISHAP IN THE GARDEN...'

There are many things in our lives that we try to substitute for God in our day to day equations. 'U + busyness does not = God' or 'U + good intentions does not = God or peace or love or joy or hope or freedom' or any of the things listed above. Those equations usually = burnout and disappointment. They = pleasing man, or ourselves, and in the end, end up equalling zero, because neither is satisfied.

Thank God for God, though! He is interested, very intimately, in each and every one of our lives. He is in love with all of His creation and desires so deeply to have daily relationships with ALL OF US. Can you imagine giving Your only Son for the entire world so the relationship that was broken in the Garden could be restored for earth and eternity? I can't. But Jesus' life, death and resurrection was not only for the 6.5 billion alive today, but the billions that have lived before us, and the ones that will follow. It's mind-boggling at times, especially because Jesus was just trying to encourage us to 'love our neighbors' and that can be hard enough...Imagine loving the whole wide world and caring about our needs!

SOOO, in light of that thought, I want to tell you why my heart hurts lately...I've been pegged, tagged, pigeon holed, call it what you want, but I've been plunked into a category and believe me, I didn't do it. I'm not in the 'Mom's who have taken their kid off life support' club or the 'Elite women who have someone waiting in heaven for them' society. Let me explain...so, I'm in this great Bible study on Thursdays at my friend's house. There are about 15 women, 2 who I am friends with and knew prior to the study's beginning. Anyway, at the end we go around and share prayer requests. I've shared things like wanting prayer for details about Noah's book and speaking engagements, the sale of our home or whether we are supposed to move or not, relief from the funky river parasite I picked up on Memorial Day weekend, help grocery shopping...I share these examples because we all have different things at different times throughout the days and weeks for which we are seeking direction and strength from the Lord. Well, then the person after me says something to the effect, "Well, that's a hard one to follow..." or "Mine's not as significant as that..." It's actually happened in other circles as well, even here on the blog when I've asked people to share prayer requests. I bring it up because it's a BIG FAT LIE!

The reason it's a big fat lie is because God cares about every single one of us and He is concerned about what concerns our hearts! He doesn't have a sweet spot on His ear for me, especially, because of Noah...The reason it's a big fat lie is because it's comparing and satan wants us in the tail-chasing act of comparison so we don't pursue the selfless love of Christ toward others. It's a big fat lie because division and a lack of self worth (not believing that whom the Son sets free is free indeed...) are two of millions of tools satan uses to turn our eyes from Christ. It's a big fat lie because it could cause us to NOT pray for someone else or ourselves because we prioritize the need, rather than laying them ALL out there for God to handle, which He can! It's not our job to emphasize one over another.

For comparison sake, let me put this out there for anyone to ponder...My life experience is different from one of my dearest friend's who lost her mom when she was only 10. Talk about grocery shopping...she was the oldest kid, so probably spent a lot of time with her mom at the store. Should I never ask her to pray for me because I don't comprehend losing my mom to a horrible disease? What about an old friend of mine that has lived overseas most of her marriage because her husband flies fighter jets? My husband isn't in the military so I don't know what it is like to daily wonder when he'll be sent to war or whether he'll come home alive or not. That is not my reality, but I'll continue to pray for those families. Or, there's a woman that due to ethnic and cultural differences, has called her mother-in-law every morning 10 years to see if there is anything she needs. My missing Noah does not negate this woman's need for freedom in Christ. Or what about the college student? Just because she's not enlisted in the military or out on the mission field does not mean that her diligence in studying for her finals is not as important a prayer request...What about the women overseas who have lost multiple children to disease and starvation or the kids that have no parents because of HIV and AIDS? There will always be someone on earth in a different circumstance than us, some worse, some better, but ALL of our concerns are important to God!

Yes, there are things that are trivial, like what color I should paint my toenails or who's on the cover of a gossip magazine or if I want black beans or pintos. But when it's something that is on your heart to actually talk to God about, and to ask others to seek Him with you regarding it, baby, it's not trivial. It's business and God is listening. I know that the heart behind the comment, 'Mine's not as serious or important' is pure and good. Their empathy is genuine, but believing that God thinks my prayer request is more important than someone elses' is the lie satan wants us to believe.
My heart is that people know God's heart, and His says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety (cares, worries) on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." I Peter 5:6-11 (emphasis mine)

Oh, the irony!

So, during Bible study on Thursday morning, I turned my phone off, obviously. We shared prayer requests at the end of our time together and I asked for prayer to be able to go grocery shopping. Anyway, afterwards I turned it back on, but was talking with my friends, so didn't answer it when it shouted out 'Beautiful Day' in the background. Then the phone died. So, while Em and I were driving home to see what kind of lunch we could round up, it occurred to me that the phone call before the phone died had to have been Jason. I just knew he was lovingly, jokingly, but with a cry of help, saying, 'Don't even think of coming home until you've gone to the grocery store...'

Well, we got in the door and Jason said, 'So, did you get my message?'
Me: 'What, the message that said not to come home unless I've gone to the grocery store?!' (smile on the face)

J: 'Yeah, that one.' (smile on the face) (Jason's message was way more lovey dovey than that...it was real 'Dale Carnegie' and sweet, like, 'Hey, I was just curious if you and Em were stopping by Sunflower Market after Bible study?')

Me: 'No. My phone died, but I knew you'd leave me a message like that!'

J: 'So, what's for lunch?'

Me: 'I don't know...there's a can of pumpkin on the bottom shelf, ooh, ooh, ooh, and some olives and 12 partial boxes of crackers...'

J: 'No, seriously.'

Me: 'Hey Em, what do you want for lunch?'

Em: 'A cheesadilla.' (her rendition of a quesadilla, usually her answer)

Me: 'We don't have any cheese, sweety girl.'

Em: 'My bagel from last night.'

J: 'A bagel she has today because I took her out last night.' (I was at a craft night with my friends eating guacamole...)

Me: 'How about some monkey food, too. Here, I'll peel it.'

*Meanwhile, I'm getting mixed lettuce out of the fridge, along with pasta to boil and pesto I made earlier in the week. There ARE leftovers in the fridge...

I remind Jason that just that morning I wrote on the blog that he was low maintenance, so he didn't want to ruin his reputation by expecting a gourmet lunch! We all ate lunch and made it until 4:30 when we had to leave for a showing. We ran a few errands and had a quick dinner a few blocks from our house at the little town center. We ran into two of the girls from Bible study and their families and then on the way to our car, we saw Dr. Julie and talked with her for a while. She invited me to grocery shop with her on Fridays, but was going out of town today, so for sure next week...

Today, however, I found myself in 3 different grocery stores because they didn't all carry what was on my list. No joke, they were all PACKED with pregnant women and moms with their babies in the carts, or with small carry baskets pushing strollers. Seriously, every gramma in Denver was babysitting their grandbaby while grocery shopping, too. Of course the first aisle we went down was the baby aisle because at this particular market, the spices are on the other side...I got home and Jason asked how it went. I told him that every mom and their baby was out shopping today. He said he was sorry. It's not like I resent those women. Nor am I jealous of them. That's seriously not my heart. I just love the irony that the very thing I'm mentally trying to conquer was surrounding me on all sides.

So, yeah, thanks, Lord...Really, no need to ease into it...Let's just dive right in and get over my grocery store phobia ALL IN ONE DAY! It worked, though! Thanks for the prayers and encouragement! I'm actually looking forward to next Friday when I can have a shopping buddy.