The two pictures above are from the early morning hours of January 12th. We didn't want to sleep and miss out on our last hours with our little guy. Noah would sometimes make little lip quiver expressions, though not that frequently, so it's cool that the one above was caught on camera. I'm doing a photo project right now, so am going through all of Noah's pictures from pregnancy to January 12th. It's heartbreaking to see the the timeline of Noah's health decline...I miss him so much that I even had the CRAZY thought yesterday that I would have even loved to be pregnant with Noah the rest of my life, minus the cheeks and thighs, just to carry him with me in perfect health. Not quite sure what my answer might have been when people asked, "When are you due?" but even so, he'd be with me...There are so many birth defects and diseases that don't manifest until outside the womb. My friend's baby lived beautifully in her womb without a brain but not in this world...she just wasn't meant for here, just like Noah, just like so many other babies and children that make brief appearances.Anyway, last night our church had a worship and prayer service at the west campus where we had Noah's service on January 15th. It was our first time back to that building since the service because that following weekend we started attending the second church site downtown. As I knelt there praying, floods of memories started rushing through my mind. I saw myself pregnant there, I pictured Noah nursing in one of the pastor's offices, holding him in his carseat in the foyer...He and I never made it into the service that day because he took so long to eat...The last time we were out there we were surrounded by a lot of people who love us and who adored Noah. It was bitter cold, but thankfully not too cold for the beautiful dove release. Anyway, last night one of the pastors prayed for us and encouraged our hearts. It had been a hard day for me and for Jason emotionally. Sometimes the tears are like a misty Seattle day and others like a Gulf Coast hurricane!
Well, I have to go tidy up because we put our house on the market Friday and have already shown it twice. It's hard having to 'get lost' but it's in God's control. Obviously it's up to Him if and/or when/where we move, so we just do one day at a time...We just want to be where He wants us and when.
Looks like he is smiling! What a great kid!
ReplyDeleteI hope today is a Seattle mist kind of day for you all!
Hi Adrienne! The expression on Noah's little face is adorable, I think I could stare at his pictures all day long, he's such a beauty. I enjoy so much reading about your memories of Noah and hearing updates on your wonderful family.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually here today with a heavy heart. I have a friend from a baby message board that I've been a member of since I was newly PG with Brandon and anyways, of course all of us have bonded and shared many things throughout the past few years, so I feel really close with these ladies. Well, to get to the point, my friends, "friend" was in a terrible car accident I believe on Friday or Saturday and she lost all three of her beautiful children. She had 2 little girls, 4yrs and 2 yrs and a sweet little boy who was 5. Her girls passed from what I understand fairly soon after the accident and her little boy actually passed in her arms at the hospital. She should be released from the hospital along with her mom who was in the accident as well in a couple days if not sooner. I am so very hurt for her that she is going home to an empty house with only her and her husband. My friend said that she of course is suffering badly with her loss and she doesn't want to go on anymore nor does she want to see anyone outside of her family. My heart breaks for her and of course I said a huge prayer for her and her family last night but I would really love it if maybe you and your readers could say a prayer for her as well. Her name is Lori Coble and I'm not exactly sure what her husbands name is, I know God will obviously know who they are whether we know the names or not. The pain she's feeling I know you understand all too well so as soon as I heard about what happened I thought of you and needed to get here and in a way, talk to you.(sounds strange I'm sure)
I don't mean to take over your blog about someone else by any means so I hope you don't mind. I just know in my heart that I should let you know about this family. Don't really know why honestly?? So anyway, any prayers you could pass on for Lori and her husband, I'm sure will help them.
Love,
Paula and Family
Thank you for Sharing Adrienne ... you have again brought tears to my eyes and an ache in my heart! But this is a good thing!!
ReplyDeleteI will be sure to give my kids and extra hug and kiss tonight - because I love them and am so grateful and blessed to have them in my life!
I can't even begin to imagine, Adrienne. We continue to pray for you. Wish I could hug you long and hard. ~Jodie R.
ReplyDeleteI love hearing a story behind the pictures. He does look like he is smiling. It is not crazy to want to go back to when things were pure and simple. I have had that thought too. I loved being pregnant. You did not look like you are always describing when you were pregnant. I saw the pics of you when you were pregnant with Noah and you were glowing, beautiful, and happy. That is what I see in your pictures.
ReplyDeleteI am planning to have my kitty of 9 years Bailey to be put to sleep tomorrow. She has cancer. This decision is torturing me because I do not know if it is the right thing to do. I love her as much as I love my daughter. It seems crazy for me to even be thinking of doing this.
Paula, I will be praying for Lori too.
Adrienne, I am so glad that you have a place like this for you to let it all out.
God Bless,
Sheri
sherirs04@aol.com
Adrienne,
ReplyDeleteWhat an angel Noah is, I love that little grin he has on his face. So precious. I am lifting you up in prayer as always Adrienne, God bless you and your family.
Adrienne
ReplyDeleteI love these pictures. I could only imagine the emotions these two pictures hold for you. I love reading about your time with Noah, and your strength after the Lord called him home. I think about your family daily. Hoping for continued strength for all of you. You guys are truly amazing!!
Mary Geeslin
I just want to say that you and your family have my prayers. Your Noah is beautiful, and I can't wait to meet him one day in heaven.
ReplyDeleteMy first born had to go to the NICU in Des Moines (2 1/2 hours away from home) after he was born 2 weeks overdue because they thought he might have something in his lungs. We were praying mightly that night and morning, and confident that God mercy, grace and peace would help heal the situation in His way. (To complicate matters, my brother-in-law was also in the hospital with cancer the same time in Minneapolis, and my parents were split between my sister and I.)
God apparently had to deal us with a split hand, as my brother-in-law passed away two years later from his cancer, and my son is now almost a 5 year old healthy kid. It amazes me how God gives us what we need to heal and to carry on beyond the challenges of life.
I still remember walking the hallways at the NICU and I continue praying for the many babies and families that yearn for healing there. It seems that above the strife of life, it is God's love that makes everything perfect and precious. Noah is a blessing from God, from the moment of his first breath through eternity.
Thanks for sharing such beautiful pictures, thoughts and memories.
ReplyDeleteJason and Ade,
ReplyDeleteI love you guys. Thinking of you always.
Tonja
In response to Paula's prayer request...I live in So Cal not far from where the accident was. It has been grieving my heart to no end as my children are 3, 2 &1...2 girls and a boy.
ReplyDeleteHere is a link to pictures of this family and ways to help if you are interested.
lifetomotion.com
Katy