A smooch sandwich...Here's Noah enjoying some lovin' from his Aunties.
So, people who know me know that I've never really cared what other people think about me. I know it can come across harsh sometimes, but since my worth isn't found in the eyes of another person, it's just the way I plow through life, I guess. When women are sizing others up from head to toe, I could care less what their opinion is of me. Lately, though, I seem to care. It's in a different way. I don't want them to "accept" me or know about me, I want the world to know about my little guy. I find myself wanting to tell complete strangers in public about Noah Steven Graves, how he's been in the hospital for 4 months and how the doctors don't know what's wrong...I don't want them to feel sorry for me as a mom or us as a family. I DO want everyone to just live a little deeper, NO, a lot deeper, as a result of knowing Noah's story, though. I know it's selfish, but it's my desire. Maybe in knowing people, myself included, are digging in and living with purpose, it'll help take away the sting of this, our reality. Maybe I'm just a gloating mom, but everyone who's met him has fallen in love with him. Just like anyone who has met your kid has fallen in love with them. When you get married you are telling the world that you are in love. I guess with every word I type, I'm trying to tell the world how utterly in love I am with this little, wonderful, sweet, miraculous man.
I love your honesty Ade. The Ade-ism I remember the most: What you see is what you get! I love what I see and what I get and I'm sure others do too (cuz i was a pretty tough sell - a 'skeptic' of sorts, right?)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny what you said about wanting to share with complete stranger what you are going through because I've been actually doing it a lot lately with my brothers' stuff. You know what I learned; people really do care. Good really does always win out over evil. People see when you are in need and have this innate desire to help. Even in CT (who knew??!!)
A few other things I think about like it was yesterday:
the chuckle you guys would get out of my electric lawn mower
the patience you had with me when a 160lb dog was nose to nose with sweet Em (sorry Em)
the honor of having your water break in MY HOUSE!! (did we ever actually determine if that was true, or were you just trying to make me feel good?!)
that there was no such thing a good christian or a bad christian.
There are so many more I think about often, but then I'd be a blog hog. I really love you guys so much and am so blessed that you touched my life.
If there's one thing that I've learned from Adrienne and Jason Graves, it's that I need to be true to who I am and to who/where God has called me...to live without regret! I don't know if you guys will ever fully understand the impact that you have on the people and the world around you.
ReplyDeleteAnd as I looked at the latest picture of Noah, Tonja & Terra, my prayer for you and Jason and Em is that you feel as sandwiched in by people who love you as Noah is.
Chris
So... Once again, as I'm reading, I am provoked...
ReplyDeleteLanguage/verbal communication is a weak connection to the imagery and symbolism of something so much more than this 'seen reality' called the human existance. What is absolutely stunning is the perspective He's given you. The ability to articulate your heart. He is using your words to draw me unto Himself . It's this thing that He does. I am fascinated. Who is the Man Christ Jesus?
Standing with you and on behalf of your family in prayer--
sarah s. (k.c., mo)
Just wanted to let you know that although we've never met, your story has made me treasure every moment with my baby more. Life is so very fragile and so very precious and God made us mothers with super sensitive hearts to feel every pang our child feels. Still praying nearly daily for your precious little man. His life certainly does have a purpose and don't listen to anyone who tells you differently! Have you read "Holding Onto Hope" by Nancy Guthrie? She had two children with the same fatal disorder and refused to abort the second despite knowing he would not live to see his first birthday. She is a christian and deals with her suffering honestly and in a God honoring way.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with what you said about God being big enough to do what He wants. No way are you "robbing" God. God gave man knowledge to subdue the earth. You know far better than I that no one can keep anyone on this earth a second longer than God sustains them. If He calls them home, that call is irresistable. Loving you and praying for you as a dear sister in Christ!
Thanks for sharing your heart here. I am praying for Noah and all of you.
ReplyDeleteWendy in IA