It's difficult to know where to begin...actually, this will be my first official post from my own home, and quite frankly, my juices aren't flowing! Maybe I'll have to go to the hospital everyday in order to post!?!? Anyway,
Jason and I were very pleased with the way the service went on Monday. Thank you, everyone, for praying for us, and thanks to all the many representatives that were there physically for everyone else who was there in spirit. We were very humbled at the faces that walked through the doors to support us and to honor our little man of God. One of the first people in the door was an old (she's not OLD) college friend who completely surprised me from Seattle! There was also a student, Lauren, from the college where I used to work in MN who came with her daughter...I had forgotten she was from Colorado. Anyway, you get the idea, and that was just the beginning. We were surrounded by family and friends from coast to coast, old and new...Jason and I both shared our hearts, we had an open microphone for a bit, a slideshow set to "40", "Yahweh", and "Beautiful Day", Noah's song, then our pastor shared his heart about how Noah's life had changed his own, and then we had an awesome time of praise and worship, giving honor to where honor is due! Then, we had two friends praying for warm enough weather for a surprise of which we told no one. We had everyone dismissed outside for a few minutes while Jason and Emily and I released 8 beautiful white doves, 7 for the 7 months of Noah's life, and then Em got to release the single dove as a symbol of the Holy Spirit and God's presence in our lives, as well as releasing her brother. It was a perfect way to end the celebration! (The temperature had to be above 18F so that the doves' lungs would not freeze! That would have really put a damper on everything!) As everyone was dismissed for the dove release, we handed out CD's that have a picture of Noah printed on them and a compilation of songs that remind us of Noah and our personal journey and devotion to the Lord. Then we headed in for Peet's coffee and cookies from Zaidy's where we were able to reconnect with many people. My goal is to somehow make a link available to view Noah's slideshow so you can all enjoy it on your own time. I'll see what I can do...
Tonight is the first night in over 7 months that Jason and Emily and I have been at home alone. The part that bothers me is that it is "normal" to not have Noah at home. He had been at TCH Denver for 5+ months and only at home for 7 1/2 weeks, 8 of those days in South Dakota...Perhaps it is part of the grace? To not sit around the house and have reminders of Noah doing this here or that there, but instead to truly picture him in the home that is his eternal home, I definitely see it as grace!
Last night we had dinner with our dear friends, Rock and Kim from South Dakota. Kim put into words so eloquently what my mind has thought of but been unable to convey. She said something to the effect of God not seeing death as a punishment to us because His ways are not our ways since His perspective on death is worlds apart from our own. For Him, death of a child of His is a beautiful thing, a true re-entry into the "world" for which we were created, the world of the physical presence of God.
I told her how it frustrates me that some in Christendom would say that the devil got the victory in Noah's death, because Jason and I don't believe that with one ounce of our being. We give all glory to God alone! We literally had faith to move mountains. We physically did everything, talking to "experts" around the world. We pulled all-nighters doing research, and yes, if you made me do a biology exam tomorrow to define the parts of the cell, I could name every component! We even went back to the mortuary yesterday, after five days to give Noah one last chance to come home with us, but God spoke very boldly that Noah was exactly where he was supposed to be. He also made it quite clear that He is coming again soon, just as He said many years ago. Noah didn't die because the devil is bigger than God! Noah was a gift to God, from a dad and mom that loved him as big as the ocean, all the salt in the sea and every grain of sand...There really is no other explanation. It was his time and God gave us His peace to discern that truth. She also told us that in the world she grew up in, sickness and death was due to a person's sin or God's displeasure with them. (Are Job's friend's sentiments ringing in your ears?!?!) That it was His punishment and if they didn't have enough faith, it was their own fault they were sick or that someone might die. No stinking wonder that people shy away from Christianity! The message, NO, The Message has been misrepresented! Just give me Jesus! Plain and simple, true, pure and beautiful! Come meet me at the well, Lord, I'll be there drawing water when it's not too crowded with all the "holy" people.
If you get a chance any time soon, take a look at Galatians 4. God showed it to my mom yesterday and some of the wording could have been written by Noah instead of Paul. It could have been written by many of the children in heaven that have been represented by their parents posting on this blog.
Finally, Jason said to me last night before bed that he felt lazy. I told him I understood what he meant. At least at the hospital we had people coming in left and right that we could share God's love with, whether visitors, staff, or parents of other kids, at home I'm hunting 5 month old sized dust creatures out from behind the dryer! It's all surreal, as if the last 16+ months never really happened! Man, do we ever have a lot to process!?