These pictures are a bit blurry because it's difficult to focus through tears flowing. These were on January 12th at about 1:30pm and we laid Noah before the Lord at around 1:45 or 1:50. I wasn't watching the clock, obviously...

I've had a friend or family member die almost every year of my life since 3rd grade. I actually feared death for YEARS! I feared it even though I knew Christ and knew Heaven was this great place. However, in the last 9 years, God's been showing me a lot about His return, Heaven, and death. I love that in His word, you can read the same passage time and again and have new insight that wasn't the lesson for you the last time you read it. So, take into account the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden. God showed me that we live in a place for which we were not created. We live outside of the Garden. We are physically seperated from the physical presence of God. We are on earth, where pain, sadness, sickness and disease are realities. That is where the alien scripture comes into play from 1 Peter 2:11, "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." That verse could have been in Genesis! Now, Noah, and many of my friends and family, and from your comments, many of your loved ones, too, are "in the Garden". They are in the place for which they were created, the physical presence of God, glorifying His name for eternity. I'm the one "out of the Garden". We're the ones "left over" right now until it's our time, of which only God knows. There are many Christians that would try to take scriptures and talk about our abundant life here on earth. Yes, that is something God offers us, BUT the perspective of eternity and through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit is the filter through which we need to interpret such scriptures. We are spiritual beings. Even Emily wanted to know where Noah's body was when we told her he went to be with Jesus. She asked us a 4 year old question, "Did they throw him in the trash can?" I know it sounds pretty harsh, but the reality is, even my 4.5 year old knew that Noah's spirit was no longer in his body. This isn't something Jason and I had completely explained to her at that point. She just knew...

Until we become uncomfortable in our own skin, the pursuit of the cross, worshipping God, denying ourselves will never EVER lead us into abundant life in Christ! Abundant life in Christ is not making life on this earth AWESOME and AMAZING, in terms of the world. Jesus said that he came that we would have life and have it to the full, but that the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. What things in our lives kill our joy, steal our attention and destroy our intimacy with Christ? We are ALIENS!

Yes, I miss Noah. I miss squeezing him. I miss going to the hospital everyday, which may sound strange, but that is my reality now...I miss smelling him and holding him, spooning him, and kissing the bridge of his nose that was perfectly created to fit my lips, like a lock and key. But, in the same vein, I have peace that is indescribable just being able to imagine him being at home with God. I said it long ago in a post that I have the realization that "my" kids are not, in fact, "mine" but they are God's alone and we as parents are the stewards, the mentors, merely the ones on earth to whom they have been entrusted. It's quite an honor to be a parent, really. That is the humbling part in all of this. I don't think that we were "special", more special than anyone else, but for some miraculous reason, Jason, Em and I were chosen to be Noah's family. That is the awe that fills my thoughts quite frequently throughout the day. I have that same awe fill my heart when I stare at Emily. I pray that you get that awe deep in your own heart for the lives that God has brought across your path. We all know "life" on this earth is too short. Even my grandmother who is 91 and wants to live until she's 104 (WHY?!) thinks that life is too short! But for which location are we living these lives? It's all about PERSPECTIVE! What if life on this earth, even one hour, 12 days, 7 months, or 91 years is actually TOO LONG?! Think about how ticked off the devil would be if all of a sudden, millions of people on earth STOPPED fearing death and started living with eternal perspective...Now THAT is AWESOME!

And in God's faithfulness, He of course covers this topic in His word, as He does EVERYTHING else..."Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death-that is, the devil- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." Hebrews 2:14-15. (emphasis mine) We don't die spiritually when Jesus is the One on the throne of our hearts. But people, our bodies, our temples, do physically wear out. They pass away. It's the fear of death that holds people in slavery to this life on earth...

That's what Noah's life has been teaching me today...