Monday, January 01, 2007

Em took this picture of Noah the end of July. I just found it on her digital. This was one week before Noah got checked into the hospital, 5 months ago tomorrow. Jason and I were talking last night about how crazy it is that it's been almost a half a year since we checked in...My life has become richer and much poorer during that time. It's become deeper and emptier. I feel like a living oxymoron.

Today I came over to the hospital, had the nurse help get Noah into my arms, put a sign on the door that said, "Do not disturb until 5pm" and snuggled my guy for 3 hours straight...no interruptions. No doctors telling me nothing, no drugs to administer, no RT treatments...just me, Noah and God, and we had words...The nurse graciously cleaned up my missed tissue three point shots that fell short all over the floor. She said that's what gloves are for...she told me life is like a marathon, none of us are wrong, we are all at different places, some out front, some in the middle, some walking here and there. I told her I'd rather hand out water to the people in the race, since I'm not a big runner...the problem with this marathon we are running is that there is no goal in our future, not for how we care for or treat Noah. I think this marathon stinks! I know the life marathon goal is to tell the world of the Lord's glorious return, of that, I have no qualms or confusion, but this...like I said, I'd rather pass out water and cheer on the runners by.

I'm not sure why we were chosen to have the most precious little boy we could have ever imagined, but I'm grateful we were and I wouldn't change him coming into our lives for the world. I'd change his state of health, obviously, but if I got pregnant tomorrow and we had Noah all over again, same scene...bring it on...we'll remain faithful and we most certainly won't shut up!
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10 comments:

  1. What a great picture!

    Thank you for sharing the story of Noah, the ups and downs and your heart for God. I'm sure this is impacting people more than you know and the Lord is using your family in this. I will continue to pray for Noah and for all of you.

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  2. A friend just shared the words to this song with me. And I felt like sharing them with you.

    You all remain in my prayers daily. You have an amazing strength, Noah has that same strength.


    Bring The Rain
    by MercyMe
    Album: Coming Up To Breathe (2006)

    I can count a million times
    People asking me how I
    Can praise You with all that I've gone through
    The question just amazes me
    Can circumstances possibly
    Change who I forever am in You
    Maybe since my life was changed
    Long before these rainy days
    It's never really ever crossed my mind
    To turn my back on you, oh Lord
    My only shelter from the storm
    But instead I draw closer through these times

    So I pray
    Bring me joy, bring me peace
    Bring the chance to be free
    Bring me anything that brings
    You glory
    And I know there'll be days
    When this life brings me pain
    But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain

    I am Yours regardless of
    The dark clouds that may loom above
    Because You are much greater than my pain
    You who made a way for me
    By suffering Your destiny
    So tell me what's a little rain

    So I pray
    Holy, holy, holy
    Is the Lord God Almighty

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  3. Lynda Bishop8:34 PM

    Adrienne

    A friend of mine...who is a friend of your Pastor's sent me Noah's blog along with a prayer request for Noah. Adrienne, I have 6 children ages 3 to 11 and I also have a baby angel named David.
    Adrienne, your beautiful words and your deep faith and your heart
    about your precious children just spoke so deeply to my spirit. I want you to know that I PROMISE
    to pray for your family and precious Noah Steven each day
    and I will faithfully continue to read his blog and rejoice in the
    life of this precious little baby.
    I have no special prayers that God cares about more than anyone elses...but I do know that I asked
    God for miracles only once so far in my life.....and this time I
    will ask again. Jesus PLEASE
    touch Noah with your healing and make him a strong leader of men
    and may he lead great groups to you through the story of his miracle. A miracle Jesus that
    you can give to Noah and his precious family. Please Jesus
    in this I pray.
    Adrienne thank you for such a
    wonderful faith and heart
    I cannot tell you how much you inspired my heart and my spirit
    by your deep faith and committed
    love. I hope to keep in touch with you if you have the time....
    but please know...my prayers will be with you.
    love your sister in Christ
    Lynda Bishop
    Joliet, Il
    e-mail bishopswife@comcast.net

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  4. heidi jo9:02 PM

    sometimes i want so desperately to say something to your family and yet i have no idea what to say... i've told you i'm praying before and i still am. i guess i just wanted you to know i am here, watching your race and whispering hope for the journey under my breath.
    love,
    heidi jo

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  5. Anonymous9:31 PM

    Adrienne, I heard your story and see your hope and faith and wonder what I would do if I was put in the same situation. You keep asking for a miracle when I think your miracle is already here. It is time for you to enjoy that miracle, put a sign on the door and just be a "normal" mother and son. Use this time to be greatful for what you have and that each day is a gift. There is nothing saying that any of us will be here tomorrow. Noah has inspirited and touched more lives than most adults and you are his voice. I know that I have been affected by your story and looking at all the comments people have left you, I am not alone. It is okay cry, it is okay to want to hang on. Death is the hardest thing any of us will ever have to deal with. I pray every night for Noah and you. That your stength continues and your faith leads your heart. You are amazing!

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  6. Holding on to hope with you. Much love to all of you- Laura

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  7. Dearest Adrienne,

    I'm such a visual person, I see the picture you verbally painted!


    I can picture you in this race. I think there are very few runners. Most of us are walking through this marathon. We entered it through no choice of our own and we will reach the end, when our Gracious Heavenly Father decides. In fact, speed along the way is irrelevant to when we reach the end. The race ends when we reach the gates of heaven. If we try to run through it when we're not built to be runners, we might not do as well along the way. We might not be as focused. We might cause ourselves injury.

    I can see you, Adrienne. You feel the strain, but you are refreshed because you keep your eye on the goal ahead. God has angels all around. They help you along the way. But Jesus hands out the water - He pours himself out for us. He is the Living Water. He is the source of our hope, energy and strength.

    I wish we could hear Noah's thoughts. Surely he can see and hear the angels. The one thing I can't picture is how Noah is traveling. Is he walking in spirit? More likely, you and Jason are carrying him until he is strong enough to stand on his own. Even as adults, I believe we need to be carried at times.

    I am going to pray that God would give your family privy to the angelic activity that is going on around you - that you can see the intercessing on behalf of Noah and be encouraged by it.

    Thank you for sharing yourself so openly with your friends, family and strangers. Your ability to be transparent, allows us to pray more specifically.
    Bless you,
    -k@ren

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  8. Anonymous9:46 AM

    Ade
    You sure are amazing, we continue to pray for Noah. How are you feeling? This picture is outstanding, he is so beautiful. Just as a friend emailed me today stating her joy that someday she will be with the savior and with her loved ones that are so missed here on earth in heaven. It was encouraging, i often don't think in the big picture.. we continue to trust Christ... he is always faithful.
    I love you tons
    Terra

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  9. Anonymous11:31 AM

    May those of us who love you keep cheering you on with prayer and handing you the water of life as you run your race. You are so loved.

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  10. This picture of Noah is so beautiful. It had been some time since I'd seen him before I saw him at the hospital on August 3rd. My heart aches for you and I pray God will take some of your pain and give it to me. I love you sister!

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