Well, Em wanted to hop in bed early so she could read me books, I could read her books, and she could draw some pictures. I asked her to pick out which books she wanted and she chose "The Bones Book" by Stephen Cumbaa, and, most importantly in this case, illustrated by Kim La Fave. It's a small booklet about our bodies structure including "An illustrated head-to-toe guide to the human skeleton, vital organs, and body systems." Perfect! And, there on pages 54 and 55 lie the very vital organs necessary to discuss with my sweet girl "Where do babies come from?"
Em: What do you want me to draw for you?
Me: How about Jesus coming on the clouds on a beautiful white horse to rescue us? (NOW, LORD :) )
Em: Okay, can it have a rainbow?
Me: Of course! He'll probably have those in the sky that day, maybe?
Me: Em, how do you think boys and girls are different?
Em, look of "OBVIOUSLY" on her face: Uh, girls are prettier.
Me: How else are we different? (Why argue, right? Hee hee)
Em points below the waist...
Segue onto page 54, the Female Pelvis. I assess knowledge base...
Me: Em, you know women have 3 exits, right? One for peeing, our V (yes, I used the word) and one for poop...
Em: Mom, you could have said, "Number 2".
Me, thinking: (You are killing me kid. This isn't the easiest thing. Work with me, here! Sheesh!)
I talk to her about ovaries, eggs, relate egg/chicken/chick story here, proceed with fallopian tubes, puberty, release of eggs due to lack of fertilization, exit of eggs through the ya ya...no, I didn't say that. Just an edited version on blog because I don't want weirdos here...ANYWAY...
Em: I have eggs?
Me: Yep. God designed women to have eggs, just like chickens, but not crunchy. (Dear God, help me out here...)
Em: Yeah, we don't have shells! What are my eggs doing?
Me: Right now, they are just hanging out...(Em interrupts with a smile on her face: They're just talkin'.) until the time when you become a young woman.
Em: When I'm 16. (Matter of fact)
*(Did I mention she's still just drawing the Lord's return this whole time? COME LORD JESUS!)
Me: No, not necessarily. Even though we are all females, God has made all of our bodies slightly different in that we don't all become young ladies at the same time and we don't all have the same amount of eggs. (Fertility talk at later date...)
Em: So maybe when I'm 13?
Me: Yeah...we just don't know. We'll just kind of wait and see. Not really something we need to worry about, you know? (Dear God, ditto last sentiment...)
Thank you, page 54, for having an inset of an egg and sperm. Segue onto page 55, The Male Pelvis, for further education...
Me: So, Em, these (insert biological definitions here...) are the specific parts God designed for males. Ours are mainly on the inside and theirs are on the outside. So, instead of ovaries that make eggs, males have T's that make Sperm, (again, not really knowing who might show up on google search at this point...bear with me).
Me: Sperm from a male is what fertilizes an egg from a female.
Em: Just like with the chicken and the rooster!
Me: Yep. (Except I didn't sit on you to keep you warm for 9 months...)
Me: So, see here (on page 55)...these are sperm...
Em: Are they fish?
Me: No, but they swim...(God, seriously?...fish don't have to explain this to their kids...but I guess You know that. Nice sense of humor, Lord!)
Me: Men have millions of them but it only takes one to fertilize an egg to make a baby.
Em, wearing hot pink leopard print pajamas, look on face trying to calculate/visualize 'millions'...
Me: That's more than all the spots on your jammies!
Em: Wow! That's a lot!
Me: So, then, the fertilized egg, which is now a baby (insert life begins at conception speech here) then attaches itself to the wall of the uterus and it grows and then when it's ready, it comes out through the V.
Em: Cool. Will you draw me a picture of something?
Me: Like what?
Em: Like a princess, a castle or a rainbow or something.
So, there you have it...the first of many more talks to come, as she wasn't even curious about the actual mechanics of HOW the egg and sperm hook up! THANK YOU, LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! I know that will come, but she didn't ask, I took that as a cue from her that she had retained all she could at that moment, was satisfied with the information, and will be eager to know more when the time is appropriate. So...GET TALKING! Don't leave me out here in sex ed world all by myself:)