I know that God opened this door, this blog, this outlet for me to write my heart about my journey and my grief. I know that it is just that...my creative grief outlet and it will look different on any one given day. But in sharing Noah's story, I have left you out.
I get it.
This is a blog about a little boy named Noah. People hear the story and come, read, cry, and hopefully walk away encouraged or inspired.
It is that, but it's so much more. It started as that, but what I desire it to be is a place for you to come and share your story. Maybe you have a blog and write your heart out already on a regular basis. Maybe you don't and are a reader of other people's stories, thinking your life isn't terrific or tragic enough to scribe. It's not true. We ALL have a story! We ALL are here on this earth at this appointed time, directed by God, to love each other and share our stories and lives with one another. To encourage each other, since this life is quite boring living it alone!
But I am convicted in my heart because even though my intentions are to give God glory in my life, I don't always do it right. I am a selfish person. I never intended Noah's story to be self-centered because it's not "Noah's story", it's a story of our gracious Father in Heaven loving our family enough to walk through fires with us in order to draw us closer to Him and learn how to love others more deeply...showing His love. Even the book I am writing isn't going to be called, "Noah's book", nor will it be all about him...that's not the point, nor is it the most beautiful part of the story...God bringing His children together around the world is where the beauty lies.
I am nauseous to think about it and I know I am not explaining myself well, here. With my self-imposed deadline on the horizon of wanting letters regarding how's "Noah's story has drawn you closer to the Lord" for the book, I have sat back for the last few days and done a lot of talking to God. I've done a lot of apologizing to Him and want to do the same to you!
Specifically, He and I've been talking about how early on, God showed me that the whole scene: his birth, the sickness, hospital life, the death of a child...none of it was new and none of it was exclusively our story. He showed me that if I was faithful, He would use the situation for His greater good. He showed me that even if Noah wasn't healed in the conventional way that modern medicine or miracles were defined by man, that Noah still found healing in God's presence and that my heart, too, could find healing and hope, even in the midst of a loss for which I could never prepare. He has introduced me to people all over the world, some physically and some virtually, because of this story, and though many of you have taken the time to encourage my heart as far as how Noah's life encouraged your own, I haven't heard all of your stories of grief and sorrow.
I don't want to be my own voice but a voice for any bereaved parent who has experienced grief to the core. Your child's life and death has changed you in a way that has radically transformed your life! Your loss is just as profound and gut wrenching as the next bereaved parent and you want people to know your child's name...your child's favorite color, song, food, thing to do...A friend of mine on Facebook wrote on his status a while back, not out of disrespect, but to make a point that I, as a bereaved parent understood. It was, "B.Y. wonders if the loss of John Travolta's child is any more tragic than the loss of someone else's child?" My friend wasn't being insensitive to the Travolta's loss, believe me...he was trying to drive it home that just because media and cyberworld make some people out to be more than they are, we are all humans, with real feelings, and we all grieve and mourn, and it's all significant and all of it tragic.
I am sorry I have left you out. I am sorry for your loss. In sharing my story, I never meant to infer that yours isn't equally gut-wrenching or life-changing.
So, my "Blog Recall" is this: if you have lost a loved-one or have been profoundly affected by death or the loss of a child in general, and want the way your life has been impacted for the Lord as a result of it, to be included in the book I am writing, please email me at: email@example.com. It has been on my heart to represent and be a voice for those out there who grieve that don't feel like their child's or loved one's life, death and legacy has been heard. The new deadline is April 15th...hopefully you are already done with your taxes...