There are many titles I could have gone with concerning this post:
"Modern Day Miracle!"
"Man Uncovers Ancient Secret!"
"Husband Found His Wife's Sweet Spot..."
"Mars Finally Moves to Venus to Form a Planetary Merger"
"Jesus Can Come On Back Now...All the Problems in the World are Solved."
Or, my favorite:
"My Husband is a Better Girlfriend than Me."
I know what you were thinking when you read the one about the "sweet spot", but that's not what I'm talking about here today. Maybe another day? Nah. This isn't that kind of blog...
Anyway, here's a snippet of the conversation which took place in the corner of our kitchen the day before I left for my girlfriends' retreat earlier this month in Austin. I must preface this to say, anyone who knows my husband knows he barely meets the minimum word requirements that a man may speak in one day...if I'm lucky, the guy spreads his 7,000 words a day out over the course of a week...so when he talks, I listen...
Part II: Girls Gone Wild in Texas
Jason: Why are you so stressed out?
Me: When you ask me that it makes me feel like I’m not allowed to have stress…like, what could be so stressful about my life???
Jason: No, that’s not it, I just want to know because you are visibly stressed…
Me: First off, you know how I get when I’m packing and preparing for a trip, but also, I just feel so jumbled right now…I don’t feel like I’ve gotten into the swing of things, like I haven’t had a routine since last school year. I do well with routine. Everything is spinning…I feel like I am emotionally ON one-hundred percent of the time…I love, love, love being a wife and mom, I just don’t ever have other adult interaction. A 2-year old talks at me all day. Sometimes that gets emotionally draining...
Jason: Maybe you should get a baby-sitter one day every week and spend some time with your friends.
Me: That’s awesome in theory, but everyone is busy, plus we’re taking Financial Peace University! What would Dave Ramsey say about this? We need to budget in a babysitter…and if we do that, I’d want to use that time to go on a date with you…
Jason: Adrienne, I cannot give you what time with your girlfriends provides. Emily and Ryan cannot give you what they can give you. I am willing to sacrifice one night a week with you where you spend time with friends so that you aren’t stressed…you need time for yourself.
And so there you go.
My husband is a better girlfriend than I am.
Let me just go ahead and have you read that again:
"Adrienne, I cannot give you what time with your girlfriends provides. Emily and Ryan cannot give you what they can give you. I am willing to sacrifice one night a week with you where you spend time with friends so that you aren’t stressed…you need time for yourself." - Jason Graves, brilliant genius husband, stellar dad, overall great guy...
|Sitting in a Cambridge coffee shop, looking all business-like, holding secret knowledge about women tightly locked up in his brain...WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW, JASON?!|
He’s, like, IN TUNE or something.
Who knew? I MEAN, I knew he was awesome, but for him to see that my heart truly needs, longs for, and thrives on time spent with my girlfriends, well, that’s like “Husband of the Year” material, you know what I’m sayin’! Maybe even Nobel Prize stuff…
So, ladies, I'm not sure what to tell you at this point...maybe print this off and put it on the fridge, or above his bathroom sink, or in the garage on his workbench. Print off a copy for his briefcase. I don't suggest taping it to his new flat screen, but perhaps erecting an easel just off to the side or somewhere in his man-cave? Maybe insert your name into the statement, record it, and then play it softly while your husband sleeps?
Of course, praying that your husband would have his eyes opened and his heart in tune with God's design for women and friendship is likely the most life-changing route, but do what you gotta do :)
The point is this: My husband isn't insecure with the truth. The truth is that I'm madly in love with him and he is my very best friend and I'd choose him any day over my girlfriends, but that doesn't mean I don't NEED or LIKE or LOVE being WITH my girlfriends on a regular basis because it's good for my heart.
*What will it take for you to understand what, quite possibly, your husband already knows about you? And, whether you are married or not, what will it take for you to realize that solitude is good for a season, but God made girlfriends for a reason?
Get on the phone and set up a date with some of your friends...ready: GO!