Blockbuster

Have you ever sat through a movie trailer that intrigued you enough to want to go see it?  If you answered, "yes," that's the point.  It's meant to draw you in so you can learn the whole story.

And then the feature film starts rolling.  The lights are dimmed, you have your goodies in hand, and everyone has silenced their phones, except that one guy.  You sit there, let's say for 20 minutes of this 2 hour feature length presentation, and the plot is building, you are sucked in, and the thought of having to leave even to go to the bathroom you stave off by tightly crossing your legs and denying yourself any more sips of your beverage...you just don't want to miss out on the story about to be revealed.  

Now imagine at the 25 minute mark the lights switch on and the theater manager walks into the packed venue and states, "That's it, people.  The director and producer had big dreams and every intention for this film to be a complete story, but the actors and crew quit showing up after only two weeks of shooting.  So, anyway, we hope you enjoyed the part you were able to see.  Have a good night and thanks for coming..."

I suspect there would be some disgruntled patrons, to say the least.

Imagine if that's what life is like when we don't want to tell our story, don't think it's important to tell, or are waiting for the unlovely, difficult parts to pass before we share.

There is a bigger picture.  We may not know or understand all the details, but it is a story which is unfolding every single day around the world.  A story being told through our lives.  The God of the whole Universe, who loves us with every part of His heart, desires to express His love for all creation through the telling of our stories.  

Because He made us...on purpose.

Can you imagine a world where we stop comparing ourselves to those around us, wishing our lives were a little more like theirs and instead began telling our stories, laced with all the imperfection, pain, and beauty, for the good of God's bigger story?

It's time we all stop cheating the world of who God designed us to be.

It's time to start living the story.


(Here's a little taste of what God's put on my heart.  You'll find out more when I launch my non-profit, soon and very soon...)

Gender Fender Bender

I am pretty worked up about an article I read via Facebook, via Tiny Prints, via Parenting.com

First of all, as many of the fans of Tiny Prints pointed out, stick with making great prints and cards, skip the other agendas.  Their job is to make paper look great. 

So, here's the article. 

And here is where I open my can of whoop ass:

Where to even begin?!  So, these "liberated", free-thinking, "gender-neutral" parents decide to raise their "infant" as a non-gender until the age of 5 when they "reveal" his gender due to a kindergarten application process.  They wanted him, Sasha, to grow up unbiased in gender until he was old enough to choose, therefore they did not allow certain toys such as Barbies or fire trucks.  Last time I looked, you know, flipped a truck upside down, I just never seemed to come across genitalia.  Who knew fire trucks had penis' but apparently that is what these parents thought. 

First, let me get genitals off my chest for a moment:  just because people have certain body parts does not mean they should procreate.  And, if they did indeed procreate, it doesn't mean they were cut out for parenting.  Here is where I encourage people to lovingly give their children up for adoption to people who aren't able to procreate but were designed to be parents. 

The presence of genitals does not equal loving parenting.

And why do people want to be parents, anyway?  This is something people should actually think and pray about before having unprotected sex, within our outside of marriage.  *No, I am not advocating sex outside of marriage.  God didn't set this rule in place to be a big jerk who likes to take the fun out of a spicy evening.  Have a spicy evening with your spouse, that's what He was saying.  And, Yes, I am advocating safe sex.  Entirely other post I have brewing in my head about this topic...wait for it...
But truly, just because a person has gotten married doesn't mean the automatic next thing to do is to become a parent.  Especially if they are totally inclined to self-absorption.  The lifestyle and calling just won't work for you...

My disgust for their (people in the article) parenting lies deep.  And yes, I'll probably get feedback from some out there reading that I'm judgmental and "to each his own"  or "their own" in this case.  But this is my blog and here is my spiel.

For the liberated, free-thinking people who believe they are allowing their child the ability to choose their gender by avoiding their gender altogether for 5 years or however long some may choose, they are denying them their basic human right.  And that's just on a political spectrum of being a human born in the United States of America.

What about the bigger, much more important picture of a human being born on God's beautiful green earth?  God designed each of us with gender.  It was the beginning of our identities.  "And God created them, male and female, He created them...AND IT WAS GOOD"  (Bold, mine!)

The stereotypes, both positive and negative, that surround gender are man-made. 

"Fire trucks are for boys."

"Barbie dolls are for girls."

"Pink is a girl color."

"Boys should like blue."

Penis' are for men.  That's the part they are made with.  Vagina's are for girls.  It's the part designed for them.  Penis' and vaginas are not stereotypes.  They are genitalia.

Have we really not come that far in the last several hundred years, at least here in America?  Em and I just completed one of my old books from when I was in Junior High called, "They Led the Way" about early American women who stepped over popular stereotypes like women's suffrage, education solely for males, and women running for public office.  And what about equal rights?  What is that all about if the basic truth of an infant is taken away from them for their most formative years?  Who's going to pay Sasha's counseling bills?

My friend would call this a "First World Problem."  I'm FOR SURE posting on that another day.  But seriously!  In the Third World, sometimes parents don't name their children for several years because of the high infant mortality rate.  Is this fair?  No!  It's child neglect and abuse just as much as denying a child to know their basic gender.  How EDUCATED, UNBIASED, and FREE-THINKING, are we that these are the issues we face in the First World and not if we should or shouldn't even name our dying child who is starving to death or has fallen sick with a horrendous disease that could be prevented through medication or clean sanitation and a balanced diet?!

THESE ARE REAL SOULS, PEOPLE!

I went to High Tea the other day to celebrate my mom's remission from breast cancer.  We were served at this "girly function" by men....  And let me clarify, it's not a "girly" disease.  Men have breast cancer, too.  They don't have cervical cancer, and women don't have prostate cancer, but if a "non-gender" raised boy gets prostate cancer one day, don't you think he'll know he's a boy?

Our society is becoming more and more perverted, meaning sick and corrupt, as it becomes more and more "free" in its thinking.  This is not to say people should not be free to think for themselves or make choices of their own.  By all means.  God created us with FREE CHOICE.  It was His first gift to us, but it came with a heavy price.  We're trying so hard to drop lines that divide, creating GRAY, but not in the areas that matter, and so what will the next generation do?  Dear God, please come back before we have to see...

What these parents could have done to love their child unconditionally rather than try to control his environment in the strictest of ways, was to love the child they were given, who incidentally was a son, to be a healthy, happy, and confident person. 

Our jobs as parents are not to freakishly try to control our children by boxing them in from the fears we ourselves have, and I'm talking to over-controlling Christian parents here, too.  But its to teach them, direct and guide them, watch for their God-given gifts and strengths to shine through and then nurture those gifts through direction and unconditional love, even establishing healthy boundaries, so they can be the best they can be, not be who we want them to be.  This is good parenting. 

Not hands-off ignorance.

Deep breath.  Okay.  I'm off to get my son from his crib. 

He is a boy and he can be whatever God has called him to be, for God's glory, not my own scientific experiment or political agenda.

Anonymous Schnonymous, reply to a commenter

Blog commenter, "Jonnie Who", thank you for leaving your thoughts and challenging questions.

As I have mentioned in the past, when reading a person's written statements we do not know the tone of voice or the spirit with which it is written, nor can we see facial expressions...all important pieces of effective communication. Unfortunately, that is what has occurred with my "Confessions of a treadmill walker" post, I believe, and with my heart to ban "Anonymous". Case in point...one of my friend's called me tonight because she was so fired up by your comment that she wanted to post in my defense. I did not feel threatened or fired up by your comment. Two people reading the same comment taking away different intentions...

First, I did not choose the word "confession" because I was sinning and seeking forgiveness. Confession, or declaration, was my intent...a continuation of my journey here in Blogville that is always candid and never tries to portray a picture of perfection...simply stating the reality of things that go through our minds randomly in the blink of an eye. I was being honest, but not mean-spirited at all. If anyone wrote what wandered through their minds in the span of an hour, truthfully speaking that is, not all of it would be perfect.

If you were to know me personally you would know that I was not criticizing any one's clothing. The guy with the shirt cut down to his hips was violating my freedom of sight as much as any other scantily clad person in public. I did not have, nor did I express, an opinion of who I thought the person was, nor did I draw a conclusion that they were less of a person. My observation was that immodest clothing that reveals body parts meant to be covered puts other in a precarious position of not being able to look around a room in peace. When we choose what to wear on any given day modesty is a great baseline, not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of others. It's actually our responsibility.

As far as the zebra print pants...there, again, I was not criticizing or judging the person. It took me back to high school weight training class, hence the "Classic. DUDE!" statements. I grew up in the 80's and 90's and love when people rock those fashions today because I am not swayed by what the fashion industry deems "popular" or "current". There are some clothes "out there" that are bad, but I obviously don't care enough that I would have a show like, "What Not to Wear" or something like that...some of those commentaries are judgmental and even hurtful. Mine certainly was not, and if anyone had been there to read my mind and hear the tone in my head, I do believe you would agree...I was not judging them. I thought it was great! The "Oh no you don't" part of that statement implied "Dude, that rocks! You go!"

Next, as far as the word "stupid" relating to the female suicide bombers, as I wrote it I thought of the words, "brainwashed, dulled, misinformed, ignorant". Truly, though, those women weren't ignorant, so "stupid" is not the appropriate word there. They were informed and convicted enough to believe that killing themselves along with many innocent people, as their "heroes" have done before them, would be for the "good of their people" and Allah. As I looked up the definition for "stupid", dulled and brainwashed more accurately highlighted my intent in using the word "stupid". I was not using it in the way teenagers think of each other or as slang, but in the true sense of the word. And, to clarify, they aren't ignorant because my friend that worked in the Muslim world has revealed a lot about the strict regulations and abusive conditions for Muslim women...they were, in fact, intelligent to free themselves of that world. However, innocent people were murdered in the process. Suicide should be individualistic, not corporately mandated by dictators, or anyone else for that matter.

And, concerning why I am banning "Anonymous" from my blog, the "real reason" is this: as a blog author who has welcomed "Anonymous" in the past and even had debates with some posters, I realized that by continuing to welcome it here and "entertain" their actions is only enabling their unhealthy behavior of hiding behind masks. I don't want to take part in that anymore. I don't want to spend time reading mean, hateful comments by people who do not know me from Adam. I don't want to be their "codependent" or "enabler". As far as emails, I have received emails from people that disagree with me, though they are few and far between, not because few people disagree, but because those that are mean-spirited love to hide and emailing directly would reveal a way to be in dialogue with them candidly...actually engaging them in the true nature of "Freedom of Speech". "Anonymous" is easier. And, those who have emailed me, I have not reciprocated with a "cussing out". My "version" of "cuss" is #$%^&* and I don't use it sparingly here on my blog. What readers input when it comes to #$%^&* is up to them...not a reflection of my thoughts.

Also, "Anonymous", in general, has called me "sadistic" for keeping Noah on a ventilator for 5 months, accused me of not grieving long enough for my son, charged my friend of being "uneducated" about birth control because "Anonymous" thinks my friend has too many children, and quite honestly, I could go on and on. Taking the time to read the hateful posts and then delete them is not worth my heart or time. Hatred can make its home elsewhere.

Finally, Jesus did not hide behind "Anonymous". He openly went to His Father's temple and turned tables on the money changers and blasphemers of the day. He told the dead to bury the dead. He confronted the religious leaders of the day...the learned ones, the teachers and elders. That's what He did. I am not Jesus, nor am I claiming to be Jesus or to act like Him. I claim that He is my Savior, my Lord, and the object of my daily pursuit...and the Giver of my mercies that are new every single day...and the grace which is sufficient for me to take each new breath and place one foot in front of the other. Jesus was perfect. I am a fallen person. "WWJD" is not always the same as WWAD. I make mistakes. I do not follow the law as it states in Galatians because it is imperfect and impossible to follow. I aim to follow Christ, have never claimed to do it perfectly and I happen to have a random sense of humor, which obviously has been mistaken and misconstrued.

As far as "rising up and conducting myself in a manner that would be pleasing to Christ", thank you for that charge...as I seek Him daily, I will wait on Him for His opinion of what that looks like and rely upon His grace that when I am not doing it well, according to His will for His children, He will convict me, discipline me and move me to remain at His feet until He sees fit.

I agree. Obedience to Christ is all that matters...and I've never claimed to be the "perfect Christian". Thank you, "Jonnie Who" for the challenge.

Anonymous Schnonymous

You heard it here first, folks...I am boycotting "Anonymous". Banned. Bye bye.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of "Anonymous" posters that are civil.

I've had "Anonymous" posters that are kind, loving, thoughtful. People with great hearts and great intentions, just no blogger "profile".

I've had "Anonymous" posters that completely disagree with me but are respectful enough not to be nasty about it. We have agreed to disagree and are able to respect each others differences. I don't agree with every other blogger, but I don't go there and publish rude comments.

However, as I've been in and out of "Blogville" for almost 4 years now, I have come across a lot of "Anonymous" posts that are so mean-spirited and hateful, judgmental and opinionated, accusing and hurtful, that I'm just not going to stand for it anymore...not on this blog, anyway!

Recently on a friend's blog, "Anonymous" pulled the "Freedom of Speech" card. There is a difference between "freedom of speech" and "freedom of thought"...that is where anonymity on this blog is being cracked down upon and coming to a close.

We are all free to think anything we want and we are all free to disagree. However, mean-spirited people who "exercise" their "Freedom of Speech" by posting as "Anonymous" are abusing a right that was both fought for and came at a great price. Historically, let's study for a moment the whole concept of "Freedom of Speech" and our rights to be heard.

"Freedom of Speech" is not an American thing. However, being an American and having studied our history some, I know that all of the "Freedoms" you and I enjoy and take part in on a daily basis were given to us as a result of those who have gone before us. And of those, we can name names...there are hundreds and thousands of "Freedom Fighters" that include, but are not limited to: brave ancestors who left their homelands to live here in liberty...Patriots like General George Washington who led our country to freedom from British monarchy...our first governing boards...men and women who fought physically for our freedom from other governing countries...and those in the service who still do...politicians who study the law and work diligently for the people...risk takers like Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass who made war on slavery...people like Ernest Green, Elizabeth Eckford, Jefferson Thomas, Terrence Roberts, Carlotta Walls Lanier, Minnijean Brown Trickey, and Gloria Ray Karlmark, who weren't going to be told they couldn't get an education because of the color of their skin...names...there are many, many names...you have a name, your spouse, your children...

Our whole lives we are told that our names are important...yet why in "Blogville" do so many naysayers hide their opinions and bullying behind "Anonymous"? The bullies who tortured Phoebe Prince all have names...but they abused their "freedoms" and will be losing them shortly. Our faithful military, politicians and freedom fighters did/do not sacrifice their time and lives in order for the rest of us to abuse those rights but instead to be grateful for them and use them wisely and with respect.

Did you know that "Freedom of Speech" has limitations? It's true:

"In practice, the right to freedom of speech is not absolute in any country and the right is commonly subject to limitations, such as on "hate speech". "

"It is different from and not to be confused with the concept of freedom of thought."

Here is the wording of the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, for clarity sake:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

So, the key above is "peaceably to assemble and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

The last I checked, judgmental "Anonymous" posters are not "peaceable". And, the last I checked, personal, private Blog authors are not the "Government".

So, for anyone caring to comment here in the future, you don't even have to have a full length profile. You can simply use your first name. But use your name and be proud of who you are. And whether you agree with me or not is not the issue. I don't write a blog for people to agree with me. I write a blog in order to get my guts out and live in honesty.

But before you head to another blog and "exercise" what you think is your civil right to be a mean bully and "tell it like it is", think again...that's not your right...and we Blog authors all have the right not to listen anymore.

So, go away "Anonymous"...go far, far away.

And, to any of you Blog authors out there that are over mean-spirited and ugly comments from "Anonymous", please feel free to add my "Anonymous Schnonymous" button to your blog, too, as well as disable capabilities for "Anonymous" posters. Now we'll see who truly cares about their rights to freedom of speech...