"Food Fight!!!!!"

A couple weeks ago Jason was rude.  And I mean, weird rude.  

To me it seemed totally irrational and out of nowhere, and in 20+ years of knowing him, I should know...because Jason's not rude.  It's not his nature or in his character to be rude.  He's the most thoughtful man I know.

I mean, I had bought extra hot dogs and sausages.  For most guys, I’d be wearing a “Bonus Wife” crown and sash, maybe even holding a bouquet of flowers.  Any woman who bears extra hot dogs and sausages is automatically enrolled in the “Wife of the Year” club.  Clearly everyone knows this…except, apparently Jason?

I pulled into the garage from running to the grocery store.  Our dear friends were coming over to celebrate birthdays and Jason had decided we’d have burgers and brats...they’d bring a big salad.  I'd make yummy cupcakes.

By JC Harrington on July 4, 2012 at Full 500 × 333 pixels

Since starting Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University” I am almost exclusively our grocery getter.  I’m the one with the cash for food purchases, where Jason’s cash is allocated for lunches during the work week.  Emily had gone with me to the store, and as we assessed who would be having dinner, I asked Em if she wanted burgers or brats for dinner.  She said, "Can the kids have hot dogs, instead?  I said, "Sure, no problem."  She shouted an emphatic “NICE,” gave me the “gag me with a spoon” face she always gives me when the word “brats” is mentioned, and then said, “ As long as the hot dogs were all natural without additives, nitrates, or nitrites.”  You know, no lips and asses.  We laughed and gave each other that, “I don’t even WANT to know what is in those other hot dogs!” look.  

Anyway, back to the story…

So, it was a Sunday afternoon.  Ryan was down for his nap while Em and I were at the store and Jason was hanging out, watching a little football.  He came out to the garage to help carry in bags once he heard the door open.  As he grabbed for several bags in the trunk he quietly said, “Why did you buy hot dogs?  Why do you always second guess me?”

I was all, “Whoa…are you okay?  Why are you being passive aggressive?”

Jason, “I’m not being passive aggressive!  I decided we were having burgers and brats and you second guessed my plan and bought hot dogs.”

I said, thinking to myself what on earth is going on with Jason, “Emily asked if she could have hot dogs.  We only had a pound of ground beef and 3 brats, so with 4 adults and three kids, 3 of which don’t eat brats, I decided to get some hot dogs, and a little extra ground beef, too, just in case.  But what’s really going on, why on earth are you so upset about hot dogs?”

Jason, “I’m not upset.  I just don’t like how you always second guess me.”

Me, “Sweetheart, I am really, really sorry.  I’m really sad that you feel I second guess you!  I totally trust you.  As the one who usually does the hosting, I just wanted to make sure we had enough food.  Have you felt like this a long time?  I’m really sorry.  I had no idea you felt so strongly about this or that you've been feeling this way for so long...you did use the word, "always."  If this is how you’ve felt all along why haven’t you told me?”

Jason, “No.  Nothing’s bothering me…it’s fine…it’s not what I meant, it came out wrong.”

I froze, really sad in my heart, like grieved-ish, that I did something to cause my non-reactive husband to be so distraught over bratwurst.  I started to throw up my walls.  Jason was dressed in his mountain biking gear, so I told him to leave and think about what was going on and we could talk about it when he got home, but we both needed space…over an 8-pack of nitrate-free hotdogs…and a little extra ground beef.

After about an hour and a half Jason came home from his bike ride.

He said, “I’m sorry I overreacted about the brats.  When you got home you opened the garage door and Lady started barking, Ryan wasn’t going down for his nap, and the Redskins had just lost.”

OH.  MY.  FRIGGING.  WORD.

Me, “Are you kidding me?!  This was all because the Redskins suck?  Sweetheart, the Redskins haven’t been good ever since you liked them in the ‘80’s.  I’m just glad it wasn’t something more serious!  You are lucky I love you and realize you had a moment of sheer stupidity to treat me like that because of the lack of athletic performance from a football team.”

"Stupid" Stuff Skins Fans Say or Do

Oh yeah…AND, guess what EVERYONE but Emily wanted for dinner? 

Burgers.  

It's a good thing the grass-fed ground beef was on sale, thankyouverymuch, Dave Ramsey!

Blockbuster

Have you ever sat through a movie trailer that intrigued you enough to want to go see it?  If you answered, "yes," that's the point.  It's meant to draw you in so you can learn the whole story.

And then the feature film starts rolling.  The lights are dimmed, you have your goodies in hand, and everyone has silenced their phones, except that one guy.  You sit there, let's say for 20 minutes of this 2 hour feature length presentation, and the plot is building, you are sucked in, and the thought of having to leave even to go to the bathroom you stave off by tightly crossing your legs and denying yourself any more sips of your beverage...you just don't want to miss out on the story about to be revealed.  

Now imagine at the 25 minute mark the lights switch on and the theater manager walks into the packed venue and states, "That's it, people.  The director and producer had big dreams and every intention for this film to be a complete story, but the actors and crew quit showing up after only two weeks of shooting.  So, anyway, we hope you enjoyed the part you were able to see.  Have a good night and thanks for coming..."

I suspect there would be some disgruntled patrons, to say the least.

Imagine if that's what life is like when we don't want to tell our story, don't think it's important to tell, or are waiting for the unlovely, difficult parts to pass before we share.

There is a bigger picture.  We may not know or understand all the details, but it is a story which is unfolding every single day around the world.  A story being told through our lives.  The God of the whole Universe, who loves us with every part of His heart, desires to express His love for all creation through the telling of our stories.  

Because He made us...on purpose.

Can you imagine a world where we stop comparing ourselves to those around us, wishing our lives were a little more like theirs and instead began telling our stories, laced with all the imperfection, pain, and beauty, for the good of God's bigger story?

It's time we all stop cheating the world of who God designed us to be.

It's time to start living the story.


(Here's a little taste of what God's put on my heart.  You'll find out more when I launch my non-profit, soon and very soon...)

Yer purdy...

Last night as we were winding down, Jason on the couch, me tidying up a few things in the kitchen, getting my glass of water for bed, I asked Jason a simple question.

Me: "Did you think I looked pretty today?"
Jason: "Of course!"
Me: "Well, why didn't you say so?"
Jason: "You look beautiful everyday..."

Now, of course that is the right answer, but really?!

Me, snarkly-like: "Oh, then I guess you don't have to tell me ever again..."

Yes, we both just smiled.

I know it sounds like I was fishing, but PEOPLE, I had taken a shower! I mean, it's not that rare, but as a busy mom, let's all just be honest here...showers may happen every day or every other day, but actually washing and blowing dry my hair, well, that happens maybe twice a week, if I'm lucky!

Husbands, take notice!

I already felt pretty yesterday and didn't need Jason to say so. I had spent a lot of time reading God's word and felt very refreshed, beautiful on the inside because God had said so...I also just happened to have a skirt on, which never happens, so, you'd think your hubby might notice...wink, wink.

Anyway, from my post yesterday or the day before about the Proverbs 31 woman, I'm inspired to try an experiment. First of all, let me just say I don't ask Jason if he thinks I'm pretty all the time. Remember, he said I'm beautiful everyday. Ahem.

But, my experiment is this: I'm not going to shower or wash my hair ever again. And let me tell you, it's gonna get stinky! I'm going to have me some very hairy legs and my hair, well, it'll look like I stuck my head in a deep fryer. So, add to the lack of hygiene more time reading God's word, praying and sitting at His feet, and I suspect Jason will be simply overcome by my appearance.

Okay, so, I'm totally kidding! Ewwwwww!

The point is this, ladies, our beauty is on the inside when our hearts are before the Lord. Here's a quote from my jewelry blog:

"We truly believe that every woman's heart was designed to be beautiful. What we wear on the inside will always be seen by the discerning eye. What we wear on the outside is simply a reflection of our tastes and who we are...it will never take the place of our inner beauty...beauty that will last us a lifetime."

And all you guys out there, even if you think your lady is beautiful every day, tell her what you think...she's not a mind reader.

And, if she's not pretty, if her heart is dark and broken, sad, distraught and in despair, if she's angry and unkind, well, start filling her heart with Truth. Fill it a little bit at a time. Encourage her in God's word...it may be a slow process but God is bigger. He works miracles all the time.

And one day, when she walks in the door, you won't be overcome by her appearance, you'll be taken aback by her beauty.