I have to say that since our meeting with the docs on Monday regarding Noah's status, I have never been more hopeful, optimistic, encouraged...I have never trusted God more in my life than I do right now...I'll tell you why in another post...
Today when I took Em to school we "cranked" Beautiful Day 3 times in a row, then after I dropped her off, I "cranked" Yahweh several times and had a great prayer time in my car while driving to workout. I find that my car is one of the best places to pray because I can be quiet or shout or whatever and people either think I'm loco or that I'm just singing to music. Try it!
Also, regarding my being mad at God, I know He can handle it, I've resolved it with Him, just as we get mad at people we love here on earth...we apologize, ask forgiveness and move on. For those of you who don't know me, I cannot lie, so why try with God who knows everything...He loves me and knows me better than anyone. He feels the same intimacy about you, so allow yourself to have a REAL relationship with Him...it'll be the richest, most fulfilling experience of your life.
Anyway, it seems like we are in a holding pattern while Noah's lungs recover from pneumonia. He had what was called a "white out" in his left lung so the RT's (respiratory therapists) have been doing chest pounding and massage every 3 hours this week to loosen the increase in mucus. We have two sets of friends that have children with cystic fibrosis and this is a part of their lives daily (so many to pray for...). The chest x-ray this afternoon showed his lungs looked good after this weeks therapy. Once Noah is over his pneumonia, we'll have the docs perform a tracheostomy because a chest tube is not a permanent choice. We will also need to make a decision soon about the best way to feed Noah...if he can swallow sufficiently then he wouldn't need any feed assistance-though the trache does pose a problem for oral feeds getting into his airway. The other 2 options are the tube he's on now that bypasses his stomach into his jejunum that goes thru his nose or a "mickey" button that is a little feed tube that goes right into his stomach from his abdomen. These things will all allow Noah more mobility and us the chance to hold him and play with him and eventually take him home.
Some blogs have book recommendations on them, so I'm joining the club...this morning I started reading "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets (while on the treadmill burning 414 calories in 45 min:)) Anyway, I encourage anyone who wants their prayer life world ROCKED to pick it up and dive in! I only got to page 38 this a.m. but was extremely encouraged and challenged.