I just typed a huge post and lost it, so here's the pathetic short version because I have to go home and go to bed...

I had a mini nervous breakdown today. I was frustrated about everything and literally screamed at the top of my lungs at no one in particular but the poor nurse had to hear it! She prayed for me, which was very encouraging. A lot of the frustration came from having to make decisions about his g-tube feeds and fielding the docs and nurses hesitations about using it. Noah puked 2 months ago and aspirated a little. He's been on an NJ tube ever since. We don't like that his stomach has been out of the picture and that his little colon just kept packing full of continuous feeds. Well, he's been on a micro drip of formula into his g-tube now for 5 hours and is tolerating it quite well...

So, after my breakdown, I left to run errands and got a very, VERY SAD call from one of the girls I used to nanny. Their dad, my friend's husband, died today of a sudden heart attack. My contacts are literally stuck to my eyes from bawling all day! My heart is so sad for our friends! We just had the blessing of enjoying a meal and visit with them the day before Thanksgiving. They came up and saw Noah, too. Noah's respirations were actually above the vent while Eli held his little hand...That's his name, Eli, and he was a great guy! He always made me and Jason feel like one of his own kids. He was a loving husband and dad and leaves behind an amazing woman of God, 5 terrific kids, one grandson and a new babe to come...PLEASE, PLEASE pray for our friends. This woman whom I have referred to many times in my blog and who I consider one of my mentors in life, she and her family have experienced more hardship than necessary in a lifetime. I told her recently that God has His hand mightily on that family's lives because satan has worked overtime to try to discourage and distract them...I pray, God, for your peace, strength, comfort and hope for our friends! Today, while I prayed for the fam, I was reminded of how much Eli loved to sing, and I had a sweet picture of him in a tuxedo, singing glory to God for eternity...why does death have such a nasty sting for everyone left behind?!