Friday, December 15, 2006
I know I've already posted this picture from long ago, but it's one of my favorites...I was so happy that Jason had a son. This is how I pictured it...THIS reality is not how I pictured it! I'm really wrestling. I'm mad, and for the first time in over 4 months now, I sat and asked God, "Why?!" I suppose I haven't asked why this whole time because what happened tonight, that is, obviously receiving no answer for my question, is what I expected the last 4 months, no answer, so why I asked "Why" tonight...it really was and wasn't rhetorical...I know we may never have an answer to the "why" until we are in God's presence some day, but the wondering here on earth is the hardest journey I've yet traveled, it's nowhere I ever wanted to go, and it isn't a destination I care to ever revisit. I have to admit, I hate this...I know life on earth isn't promised to be perfect and I know people have it way worse than we do, but this, this totally stinks!