Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I think my husband is pretty amazing! I love him. He is not only a great husband but is a wonderful father. No, he is not perfect. Is anyone?! (I'll be the one who does not raise my hand to that question...how will you honestly answer it?) But, one thing he does do is take seriously the role of human dad on earth. He models to his family behavior that is loving, humble, selfless, and in hot pursuit of Almighty God. He knows God is someone to love but also to fear with a holy reverence. Emily does not have to wonder if her daddy loves her as big as the universe. I don't have to question whether Jason thinks I'm the most wonderful wife on earth (for him, obviously, hopefully your husband thinks that of you...) He not only tells us he loves us but he shows it through his actions and words.

One thing that stands out in Jason's character is humility. When he has made a mistake or hurt us in any way, he is quick and willing to apologize. He is not afraid to say he is sorry, to me or Emily or any one else he wrongs. This is so powerful because it shows that he is not too proud, but a true man who, though it is painful, is open to God's refinement. Many parents have it in their heads that to apologize to their child shows weakness. Where the honk did they come up with that?! It is SO contrary to what Christ teaches...They think that to admit being wrong is a poor example since they are the "grown up". On the contrary, it shows a child two things. First, that their parent isn't perfect, which is good because when a parent lies and thinks they are "modeling" perfection, it sets a kid up for insecurity and people pleasing. Secondly, saying you are sorry for something and admitting that you are wrong as a person and parent shows that you have integrity and are willing to take responsibility for your own actions. Otherwise you end up being the parent who is "defending" your kid on the playground or at school from all the "bullies" when, perhaps in reality, your kid was the culprit? They never learned how to say they were sorry because it wasn't shown to them. They were told, "Say you are sorry", but they never witnessed it...Seriously, it really should be no wonder why there is war and hatred on earth...some parents have not modeled to their children how to say, "I am sorry", so, on and on and on, throughout the generations, no one takes responsibility for their own actions.

The picture that keeps coming into my mind is of "The Fonz", that is Arthur Fonzerelli from "Happy Days", who, whenever he would wrong someone, could never say he was sorry. He'd say, "I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm sorrrrrrrrr. I'm...." Then, the person he hurt would dismiss his need for an apology because they knew what he was trying to say. Oh, how very macho. Let's all be quick to say we are sorry and model this to our children and to their children...

Sweetheart, I love you. Thank you that humility is a trait of God that you model in our home, to me and to Emily. You also modeled it to Noah and to everyone else who walked through the doors of his many hospital rooms. I respect you and am grateful that you are not a proud man in the false sense of the word. Thank you for modeling integrity. I don't have to lose sleep at night wondering if our kids will grow up to be tyrants. You are the kind of dad, beautifully imperfect, that models love unconditionally. It is no wonder Emily wants to marry a man just like you! (Hopefully Christ will come back before that (smiley face), but if He tarries, then I know God will honor that for her.) I love you as big as the universe. Me xoxox

10 comments:

  1. oooh! oooh! I have one of those, too! What an incredible blessing to know that there are real men in this world, eh??

    Have a beautiful day, Adrienne!

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  2. I couldn't agree more that having a Godly husband is one of the greatest blessings. Two shouts for the wonderful men God has blessed us with!

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  3. The book you gave me, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children, spoke this message so well. It is really such a simple way to instill confidence and honesty in your kids. I am not a perfect person and often times I am so wrapped up in my own world that I overreact to things Jackson does. But I quickly feel my heart ache and tell Jackson I'm sorry and what I'm sorry for. What I see as a result is Jackson's thoughtfulness and kindness toward others. He is always quick to apologize and also quick to express his gratitude and love. I am constantly amazed at his early character!
    And this modeling is also so true for husbands and wives. We really do teach others how to treat us!
    Thanks for being a super-model. ;-)

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  4. Anonymous2:58 PM

    Adrienne,
    I am so happy tht you wrote a post about your husband. I think about and pray for your family daily and I feel like I honestly know you,Em and of course Noah. I now feel like I have a glimpse at who Jason is. I feel like he is the silent warrior.I am so happy to hear about the love of your family and it is so rare in this age when you can find 2 parents who are excellent role models for their children. Thank you again for sharing.

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  5. That is so wonderful to read. It does seem to be uncool for a man to be humble, but that is the harder road to take -- and it's only for manly men. :)

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  6. Amen for Godly husbands and fathers to our kids...what gifts they are to us...and most days I feel SO unworthy to have been given such a treasure. Jason sounds like a gem...and he's blessed to have you, as well! :)

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  7. Anonymous5:49 PM

    Keep up the good work, Jason! I will be praying for you especially this week. You lead your family well! Bless you!

    Chrissy

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  8. Anonymous8:41 PM

    I've had to apologize to my daughter many times over, for big things and the little things (that were big to her). It's a two way teaching, not only to teach her that apologies are good and can be healing, but how to be gracious and sincere in the acceptance of an apology. It's equally as important.

    The other night was one of those "stressed out Mom" moments. I'd had a horrible day at work - had gotten my feelings hurt by over hearing a conversation about me and my stance on something (I know, I know, why do I care about what others think about me if I believe in what I'm doing... thanks to you I am really working on that!) and at home that evening my daughter is in the 'not listening' mode and I finally said "Audrey, Mommy needs you to really be a good listener tonight and a good helper. I've had a hard day and I'm a little sad and really tired". So she says "why are you sad Mommy?" and I say "because someone said something about me that hurt my feelings". Tears immediately sprang to her eyes and she says "Did they call you a meatball head?!" (this is SERIOUS business to a four year old) I said "something like that". To which she replies "Mommy, sometimes people say things out of meanness and it just happens but you'll be okay". Talk about perspective.

    What affected me most was she sincerely was hurt and concerned for me, I realized she'd got the messages we'd been teaching her. And her dad was an integral part of that. I thank God over and over for my husband. For who he is as a husband and a father.

    You and Jason seem to have a very strong relationship. Enough to weather the strongest of 'storms' that come your way. You are added in my prayers to continue your strength not only in your relationship but what you all pursue in spreading your story.

    God Bless!
    -Annalisa

    p.s. - it's late, I'm tired so I apologize if this is a little random.

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  9. What a beautiful tribute.

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  10. Thank you for sharing some more pictures of Noah .... and thank you for your tribute to your husband.

    I have again learned something today after reading your posts and vow to apologise more often to my sons and my daughter, and not leave it for another time and then 'forget' - saying sorry is hard, especially when you perceive yourself to the 'role model' - however you are right in that it is of utmost importance!

    I can say so much more, but I think I will leave it there ...

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