Wednesday, February 21, 2007
So, I'm pretty sure I've established that I am in love with Em and Noah. I literally would die for Em and I would have for Noah if it would have guaranteed him life this side of heaven, though I know now heaven's way better, so, prolonging the arrival of his residency there would have been selfish...
Anyway, my point is that I would do anything for my kids, which I would think it's safe to assume you would, as well, for your kids. I would prevent any heartache or pain, if at all possible. So, lately, I've been so sad because of some somewhat daily occurrences that Emily endures. You see, since she's 4.5 and quite active, sometimes like a puppy, her legs get going before her body and she trips. Sometimes it's over an object or her own shoe, but the point is, I can see in her face that it frustrates and embarrasses her. The other day, after a small stumble in public, she stood up and said, "Mom, why do I always trip? Why don't grown ups fall down?" I proceeded to tell her that when I was in high school and college, I would wager that a day did not go by that I did not take a tumble. I blew out my ankles in basketball, leaving little or no cartilage and really stretched out tendons. I would be walking on level ground with flat shoes on and fall flat on my face. If shrines were erected at every site where I took a spill on the campus of my Alma matter, there would be no place to walk, especially not on the stairs...I told her that when I was pregnant with her I tripped three times, down to the ground, sprawled out on the sidewalk, belly up. She felt sorry that I had such a history of falling. I told her it was okay, that even though some of my spills hurt really badly and I got bruises and bumps, that they went away and I always knew I could just get back up on my feet again. I told her she could do the same.
So, in an effort to do anything for my kid, if you see me in public sprawled out on the floor of the mall or on the sidewalk, or in the middle of a restaurant, twisted and tangled, don't feel sorry for me. I'm not embarrassed. Years ago it bothered me, but who really cares? As long as no one's physically hurt, it keeps me humble...I'm doing it for Emily so she doesn't get a complex. I don't want her to care what other people think. I don't want her to feel alone.