Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"I do."

Jason and I got married June 26th, 1993, in Scottsdale, Arizona, on what was on record the hottest day of that year...a whopping 122 degrees.

(Jason gave our scanner away, but I promise I'll scan a few pics! I mean, who doesn't want a good laugh?! It was the '90's, okay! Poofy was cool...)

Anyway, yes, the temps felt as though we were teetering on the edge of earth and hell, but the day, the people, the occasion and memories teetered on heaven in my book.

I was 21 and a half (can you hear a 5 year old saying that? "I'm 5 and a HALF") and had no clue what I was doing except that I knew I was in love. I knew it was with Jason. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I had no idea what that all meant or what it would look like but with God as our anchor, I wasn't really worried...nor am I still.

But, even though I was still in college and thought it was strange that our parents were letting us board a plane to Maui all by ourselves like grown-ups doesn't mean I didn't take the "I do" seriously.

I meant it.

I still mean it.

You know, Paul in the Bible talks about when you suffer in your body, you are done with sin. I've never broken a bone, oh, I've been sick here and there, but losing my father-in-law and son was the suffering Paul spoke of for me, at least. I loved him, too, but seeing my amazing mother-in-law without her very best friend broke my heart...still does. Standing with my husband as he grieved his dad and friend was a lot for a young wife to process. Loving and losing Noah taught me to hold on a little tighter to Jason while at the same time, holding him loosely with all my trust placed in the God of the Universe. It taught me to try to love Jason the way God intended him to be loved. It has helped me blow off the little things and cherish what really matters. It reinforced my "I do." Unfortunately I'm not "done with sin" but my eternal perspective has certainly changed my here and now perspective and what is important...and I believe that is time spent with people, the very ones God created and has brought into our lives.

People congratulated us recently for sticking to it for 18 years. I didn't know not sticking to it was an option. The "D" word has never been part of our vocabulary...even our unspoken mental vocabulary. Jason's parents were in super duper love until the day his dad, Steve, died a little over 13 years ago. My parents are still in super duper love today. Neither of our parents had perfect marriages, and ours isn't either, but something about the two of us together just works. We had good examples. And we've made up a lot of it as we've gone along, too.

  1. Maybe it's that we both give and take?
  2. Maybe it's because we have both always said "sorry?"
  3. Maybe it's that we don't sleep with other people beside each other?
  4. Maybe it's because we are best friends, and are that first and foremost?
  5. Maybe it's a result of the five-course meals I make up every night while sporting an apron, a double strand of pearls with a vintage brooch from bebe&boo, and nursing a glass of wine? Oh, and the foot rub Jason gets when he walks in the door...

You can see from the expression on Jason's face below that the previous statement must be the real reason we've lasted this long...

But really...

We aren't perfect. We've had our share of coasting, surviving, and even barely breathing...but one thing I know is that I'd rather coast, survive and barely breathe with him.

And when communication is low, we have to try...
And when life is too busy, we have to slow down...
And when our hearts get calloused, it hurts but it's necessary to get out the sander or even the knife and start cutting away at the build up of keeping offenses, replaying past hurts, and unforgiveness...

And, whether we think we need it or not, and whether we have cash or not, good marriages need dates...healthy marriages need time away from kids, if applicable...and that's just what we did, thanks to my folks who took the kiddos overnight.

We went downtown and had a wonderful stay-cation. A few months back I resigned from being the women's pastor at our church. As a big, fat, thankful "thank you" our awesome church gave me a very generous gift certificate to a swanky boutique hotel, Hotel Teatro, and to our very favorite restaurant, Vesta Dipping Grill, where we have spent 5 or 6 of our last 9 anniversaries.

Randomly painted pianos were placed along the 16th Street Mall, so Jason plunked out a few tunes he recalled from elementary school days...

And ladies, or even guys, if your spouse is a techy like mine, and is on the computer or fancy phone more often than not, it's absolutely okay to say, "Hey, Sweetheart, on this our 18th anniversary weekend, will you please kick your mistress the iPhone to the curb? I don't need to tell you I'm a heck of a lot more fun than your phone!"

We shared our Vesta night with our old roommates, Drew and Gina, who were also celebrating their anniversary. We've got 15 years on them, and we've taught them everything we know...so, you know that the reason their marriage rocks is because of point number 5 above!

Anyway, random post, but was pondering how grateful I am for one day at a time with Jason, and so thankful those 6577 days have added up to 18 years. I do not take them for granted.

Friday, June 10, 2011

5 whole years!


A lot has transpired over the last 5 years...



Roller coaster emotions.









Dying to self.

Doors closed.

New beginnings.

Bitter memories.

Sweet memories.

Eyes opened.

Hope renewed.

Trust still firm.

Faith still boundless.

And a whole lot of love.

In a million years I never imagined that so much life would transpire in just 5 years. When I was in 8th grade I was concerned about 8th grade things: bad hair days, junk food and dumb boys. Five years later while I was a freshman in college I was concerned with freshman things: bad hair days, junk food and dumb boys. :) By five years after I was a freshman in college, I was married, had a job, had moved across the country, was paying bills, making new life long friends, traveling around the world with my husband and sharing God's love with people...my life, perspective and purpose had changed significantly.

In a million years I never would have imagined that five years after giving birth to a baby boy who quite literally melted every part of my heart, that on his big boy 5th birthday he wouldn't be in attendance to his very own celebration.

I cannot believe I actually got to have him in my life for 7 whole months! A lot of mommies and daddies don't have that much time with their kids. I am so very grateful that I was able to enjoy those 7 months with Noah. Looking back, and even while I was in the midst of it, I don't care where that time was spent...all I am thankful for is the fact that I had a son. His name was Noah. He would have been 5 today. And I am richer for knowing him.

Mama loves you bigger than the universe, sweet guy of mine. Always and forever.

Monday, June 06, 2011

Prunes, prunes, the musical fruit!

I should not have gone out in public today.

I mean, I haven't been out in days because I've had strep and Em has it now, so we haven't been many places other than the couch, her bedroom and the kitchen.

But, since I had showered yesterday and actually washed my hair, I thought, "Heck, I'll get dressed two days in a row. It's not a crime!" Plus, a friend was coming over for a visit, so I thought she deserved more than just me brushing my teeth.

So, I put on my one pair of shorts that I own. They are my favorite. Obviously, because they are literally my only pair of shorts.

I put on my daily wife beater tank top, today's hue: gray.

And then, since my favorite only shorts are plaid Roxy shorts with navy, I decided, "What the heck?! Why not throw on my favorite navy cardigan since it's cold in the mornings?"

And so I did.

Did I mention I haven't sanded my feet or changed my toe polish in a month-ish? But I did shave yesterday, so that's somethin'. That is, I shaved my pasty white legs that no longer have the lingering effects of my days on the beach in Mexico way back in February. That is, I shaved my white legs that now unabashedly boast bulging blue veins thanks to 3 full-term pregnancies. Love you kids!

So, as I was saying, I went out in public today.

I had to run to the post office as soon as Jason came in the door from work. I didn't look in the mirror or even glance down at myself. I just grabbed my package and hopped in the car.

And as I left the P.O. I saw my toes...but before my eyes found my toes, they found my left boob...I had a small, 9 month old sized paw print made from prunes on it.

Of course it did. My boobs are often covered in fruits and veggies. Aren't yours?

And, since I carry my purse on my right shoulder, not even it was working with me to camouflage the prunes.

The problem was, with nasty old red toenails, white scaly, pasty, veiny legs, my uber preppy, Jackie-O JCrew sweater and surf shorts, I still had to run two more errands while I was kid loose and fancy free. Dang it! At least I could switch my purse to my left shoulder...

2nd errand: Vitamin Cottage. Ran into the ladies I see there on a regular basis. They didn't notice the prunes I had tried to lick off in the car on the way there from the P.O. They are sweet. Maybe they just didn't let on?

3rd errand: Wal-Mart. And guess what? I fit right in. Don't be shocked if you see a picture of me on "What not to wear at Wal-Mart" or whatever that website is :)

I got my errands done. Now to grab Jason's power sander and soften up my feet for summer!

I know you usually have it altogether, but in case you aren't perfect, have any "out in publics" to share?

Friday, June 03, 2011

Oh, Facebook! Gotta love it!

"Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone that may know someone who knows anyone. If you don't know anyone, or even if you've heard of anyone who doesn't know anyone that doesn't know someone, then still copy this. It's important to spread the message. Oh, and the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ For crap's sake, don't forget the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥"

My friend, Russ, from college posted the above as his Facebook status yesterday. He has always been able to make me laugh!

Jason, Russ, and Yo
(Like Em's photo skills? She cut her own daddy out of the picture! Oops!)

This morning while I was holding Ryan, I was skimming through Facebook and came upon Russ' status. I started laughing, and then crying, and then cracking up so hard that Ryan started laughing at me. I told him that my friend Russ is hilarious, but that I was super mad at him because his post made me laugh...and I have strep throat from hell and it feels like I'm swallowing swords, so laughing with a sore throat isn't funny!

But laughing is great! It feels good, aside from the swords, it feels good in my body, in my heart, in my mind. I could sure use a good laugh a little more often. I usually laugh at most of life, more sarcastically, but I laugh nonetheless. And my sense of humor, well, it's likely inappropriate for the next guy, but if I can't laugh at little things, I won't be able to laugh at the big things, the things that are hard, the ones that make me grow...the ironic things...

I think I've gotten too serious.

I mean, it's easy to get serious. There is a lot in this world that is scary and wrong and downright frightening!

But I think that when we stop to laugh, especially at life, at ourselves, at each other, we open a place in our heart for hope.

And maybe, just maybe, there is a silver lining in every cloud...