Saying Goodbye

It's not something you ever really get used to.  Specifically I mean, saying "Goodbye" for good.  And by "for good" I mean until we meet again in God's presence, but who knows when that might be?

I get emails from friends, friends of friends, family, strangers, many different people who share a link to either a story, blog or email about a little kid who is sick or dying.  I knew when Noah was in the hospital that he most certainly wasn't the first sick kid on earth and unfortunately would not be the last.  And I don't mind receiving these emails at all!  Though my heart breaks for them, knowing I can pray for the families helps me even on my own journey.

Weeks leading up to our decision to take him off life support and offer him as a gift to God, I was also made aware that we weren't the first parents, nor were we the last, to be placed in such a situation.

But, it's not something you ever really get used to, even if it's something with which you are familiar.

I have a girlfriend who has a non-profit organization, offering perinatal hospice care and support to families who have received a fatal diagnosis for their sweet baby.  Because of support she had leading up to the delivery, moments together, and tender time of saying "Goodbye" when her daughter was born, she is able to encourage others on their journey...but, it's not something you ever really get used to just because you have experienced it.

Today I received an email about a little boy who was removed from his ventilator earlier this afternoon.  His parents are brave.  They are strong.  And at the same time they are holding onto that last moment for a miraculous intervention this side of Heaven.  And, all at the same time, their hearts are juggling a million emotions of peace in knowing their boy won't suffer any longer, grief because life didn't turn out the way they had hoped, dreamed or planned, anger because if they had control of the Universe they'd most certainly change the outcome of their biggest nightmare.

At least I am guessing that's what's going on in their hearts, among other things.  I don't know because I am not them, and even though I've walked a very similar road, saying "Goodbye" is not something you ever really get used to...

Prayers for his family and for their hearts to know that even though his footprint on earth was small and too short for our liking, it's his heartprint that will last a lifetime.  Either way, whether we can see the hope in it or not, it doesn't mean it doesn't suck and that it's ever easier to say "Goodbye."

Saying "Goodbye" isn't something any of us should ever get used to. 

I'm not so sure, though, that there's anything we should ever get too used to...because when we do, even though there's a level of comfort, it can teeter between "familiar" and "taken for granted."

My point is this:  life is precious, the first breaths, the final moments, and every day in between. 

Better Late Than Never?

Well, I know Halloween and Fall Break were a while ago, but I thought I'd post some pics anyway so you can see the Adventures of Emily and Ryan. 

We had an early snow so we pulled all the pumpkins into the front hall.  Ryan played "ball" with these every day until the snow melted.

For Halloween Ryan was "Adam" from the Garden.  Just kidding.  His little tooshie was raw from 2 months of diarrhea so we let him "air out" at Nana's house.  FYI:  his big D is gone and the kid broke 4, count 'em, 4 molars!  Fun times...

Em and I got to ride horses at a friend's house while we were home in South Dakota. What's that?  Yes, I am wearing a Pashmina with camouflage and running shoes...(no, I wasn't prepared for the chill at sunset!)

Bonus kid points go to Emily this year...she told me she wanted to be Cleopatra and wear her Egyptian princess costume again...it's from two years ago...the bonus points come in that Mama didn't have to make a costume this year!  (*To tell the truth, I kind of missed making one...)  LOVE our niece and nephews pajamas that glowed in the dark!!!  And that's Aunt Kitty behind the sword...let's just say Ryan DID NOT LIKE Auntie's face painted like a kitty!

Ryan, or "Squirt," helped me pass out candy to the kiddos in the hood.  And by "pass out" well, I have video of him chucking it left and right but I'm not sure how to post it here.  He's into that stage of throw down/pick up/throw down/pick up!  Fun for Mama!

In order to stop Squirt from chucking the candy dish all over the hallway I allowed him a few seconds of phone time.  I NEVER allow this as a phone is NOT a toy...not in my book, anyway.  I have a feeling this kid is going to be like his daddy...a techy brainiac genius type.

I guess I did get to sew a little...we were invited to a friend's family party down the street.  Emily insisted that we HAD to dress up, that EVERYBODY would be wearing a costume, so, I was either going to sport my senior year gold sequin prom dress circa 1990, my Grandma's old house robe with slippers and rollers with face cream, or a flapper dress I had made for a murder mystery party we went to 15 years ago...Can you tell which one I went with?  I had to take in the dress, if you count that as sewing.  

And did we have the best costumes there, you ask?  Well, yes.  Yes we did, in fact...BECAUSE WE WERE THE ONLY FRIGGING PARENTS DRESSED UP AT THE PARTY!  So, there you go...Halloween down, Thanksgiving in a week and then December the next week!  This year is flying!

Made for Greatness!

Do you believe you were made for greatness?

Sometimes in the day to day it doesn't seem like it.  Sometimes in our darkest moments, greatness isn't even a word that comes to mind.

But, when God made you...when He thought you up, designed you, decided on your color scheme, personality, and heart attributes...greatness was what He had in mind.

But, this greatness He had in mind for you was not just so you could toot your own horn or reap all of the benefits...this greatness is to be an asset to all those you encounter, because He made you, on purpose, and is totally in love with you!

So, is there something that is keeping you from walking in greatness? 

I know what's been holding me back for over 30 years and I'm not going to let it stand in my way anymore!

Want to join me on a road to be the best YOU God intended you to be?!

Where you'll find me for a while...

So, if you've been here a while you know that I have another blog.

This is where I'll be spending some time writing while I make some layout and aesthetic changes on this blog.

Plus, it's just time to face my demons.  Anyone care to join me?