Some summertime fun!

I know it's been a long time since I've posted pictures or even shown that our lives are also fun amidst tough stuff. We had a wonderful summer visiting family and friends in South Dakota and Minneapolis. We laughed a lot this summer. We relaxed, breathed, and just simply enjoyed.

I honestly can't imagine my life at this point without Ryan in it. He brings me so much joy! He's an easy going kid and brings a lot of laughter into our home.

This summer he got to hang out with his younger cousin quite a bit. The pictures below show our ad-lib version of kiddie pools at Nana's house.

Nothin' like a buck nudey baby! So squeezy!!!

Love this aerial shot of the cousins in their "tubs"

The "C" Word

Cancer is like saying #$%^&*. It's got six letters but it's a four-letter word.

I've never liked the word cancer.

Merriam Webster defines it four ways:

1. a northern zodiacal constellation between Gemini and Leo
2. a malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis; an abnormal bodily state marked by such tumors
3. something evil or malignant that spreads destructively
4. an enlarged tumor-like plant growth

I guess I don't mind looking at constellations in God's big beautiful sky, but seeing a malignant tumor on an MRI, and that tumor belonging to my very own mom, well, that just sucks, to be frank.

I went to my mom's appointment yesterday along with my dad and younger sister. I choked back some tears here and there as I watched my mom be so very brave. I mean, my mom was like, "I'm not scared. I trust God. I trust Him when things are good and even now. I trust Him."

I sat there next to my dad who has always been so in love with my mom, knowing this is his journey, too. I thanked God in my heart for parents who still enjoy being together, thankful for their loving example of marriage for my own life, so very thankful God opened a door for them to live so close to us.

So many things were running through my thoughts in that office suite dedicated to education and treatment of this "new to me" disease. We all listened to one pretty amazing doctor share knowledge and courses of treatment, maybe not realizing she was now part of our journey. Of course the "Noah" mom came to the forefront of my mind...wanting to fix it...wanting to conquer the world and find a cure for all cancers, but especially breast cancer because it's front and center in my world. But, as much as I am on this journey with my mom, this is her journey. And she's one pretty amazing woman, so I know she's got it...because she knows The One who has got it!

In 7th grade a nurse came to educate us girls about self-breast examination. I freaked. Not because I thought it was silly to talk about touching my boobies. Something in me was gripped with fear and I was sure I would die of breast cancer before I even left high school. I even had my mom take me to the doctor because I had lumpy breasts. The doc said, "Do you eat chocolate?" Of course my reply was an emphatic yes! She asked, "Do you drink caffeine?" Hello! I'm in junior high! Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper were my BFF's next to Stacey, of course! She said that caffeine increases fibroid tissue in the breast and can cause pain and discomfort. I stopped drinking pop. I didn't drink it again until my freshman year of college...which accounted for my 15 extra pounds at the time. I gave it up again. Water is my favorite, anyway...

I don't fear death anymore thanks to God's grace in allowing me to be mommy to a sweet little boy whose name meant "Peace." And, I don't fear breast cancer. I don't fear. What the heck is the point of fearing?! It steals joy and hope. Walking through this with my mom, even from the first call she got, watching her trust in God, and her peace, there's just no room for fear.

Cancer is a four-letter word, but having met it, I know now it can be beat!

It's not going to be a cake walk. There will be surgery. There will be chemo. And, since I'm not having either of those aforementioned, there will be a boat load of walking on my part. I haven't picked the city or the date, but this time I'll probably do the 60 mile walk. And yes, if you are interested, I'll be forming a team...

As a daughter of a woman with breast cancer, I know I can't fix it. I've learned that from experience. I can definitely be a support and encouragement. I can do practical things like make meals and help care for my mom over the next 9 months or so. But there is other stuff I can do, and I know it will not only help my mom, but help my generation and Emily's generation to come.

No. Breast cancer isn't my "new" platform. I've championed for it, or rather against it, in the past...simply because I have boobs. Yes, you will hear more about it here in days to come. But I'm still passionate about loving women, encouraging women, and telling them about God's AMAZING LOVE for them...this isn't new, either is God's love or my passion to tell it.

It's just that breast cancer has helped re-light a fire under me that had nearly died out.

What's your point?!?!

Not trying to shock you, but here is a bumper sticker I had to sit behind in traffic recently. It read, "I piss excellence."

Really? That's fabulous?????? Congratulations?! What does that even MEAN, you numb skull?!

Oh. My. Word. Seriously? Can we just talk about what messages we are trying to get across here?!

I am specifically talking about bumper stickers and other images and messages displayed on the backsides of our vehicles.

Personally, I am not a fan of bumper stickers, although, for the most part, I do read them as I drive on my way. I don't judge you if you choose to put them on your car, it's just that my husband and I decided long ago not to put stickers on our vehicles. It's not a big deal. We have lots of opinions and thoughts on life. We support and love many different organizations. We just don't do bumper stickers. That's all.

Let's review some though, shall we?

There's the parent who has to point out that their kid is smarter than yours. Just because someone has a "My kid made the honor roll" sign on their car doesn't mean your kid is an idiot. They are proud parents, that's all...and no, your dog isn't smarter than their kid, either.

Or that ridiculous and crude kid that has his pants down and is urinating on whatever it is the driver wants to belittle. Chevy and Ford should just be friends, already!

Here's my favorite...the guy in the big beefy truck that has dark tinted windows, meaty tires with girly flaps and a pair of blue balls hanging from the hitch. REALLY?! You are admitting to the world that your truck is making up for your lack of intimacy?!?!

Or, "Silly boys! Trucks are for girls!" I love to drive trucks, I have to say, but they aren't gender specific. They are trucks. They are for boys and girls. Trucks are gender neutral...

I actually like the family stickers. You've usually got a dad figure, a mom, a couple kids or more, even a cat and dog. And, if your family was lucky enough, your family figures have big mouse ears on them...or, if you are outdoorsy, your family is made up of sea turtles...which means you were probably lucky enough to buy them in Hawaii.

I personally am not quite sure what the "I piss excellence" bumper sticker is all about. All I know is that it's crude and not the kind of bumper sticker I would ever choose. But I guess it stuck with me...so very glad that guy got his message across...(kick him in the shin!)

If there was room on the back of my car to get a message across worth the adhesive it would say, "Hey, whether you believe it or not, God is totally, completely, madly in love with you! Yep! He loves you exactly the way you are, sitting there in your car, singing, smoking, picking your nose, yelling at your kids in the back seat, whatever. He even loves you as you are tailgating me to read this bumper sticker. And, since the beginning of time a lot has happened. He's been misrepresented, even gotten a bad wrap. Maybe you could care less, but here's the deal, whether you like Him or not, you will meet Him face to face one day. On that day He'll tell you how much He loves you...like He's been telling you all along. He'll remind you that He sent His Son to die on a cross for you because you were worth it. You can wait until that day to meet Him, but living life here on earth with Him in your heart is better than chocolate or Monday Night Football! Life won't necessarily be smooth, you may experience heartache and pain, your kid might not make the honor roll, you may not even pee straight, but God's totally and completely in love with you and would love to have a personal relationship with you today."

I know that bumper stickers or symbols on our cars are an expression of who we are or what we believe and support. Some are encouraging and thought provoking...others just funny, while others, as you've witnessed above, plain old ignorant.

Since the back of my Honda Accord just isn't big enough to display my sentiments, I won't be having this particular bumper sticker made up.

However, when I went to renew my tags the other day, something occurred to me. I can work the "no bumper sticker" rule with personalized plates. I can get another message across. It's a message of support and something I've championed in the past. It's a message that wasn't close to home. Now it's a message that is front and tail end on my car.

I bought pink license plates.

I know that in buying "Breast Cancer Awareness" plates I won't beat the disease, but, as the daughter of a beautiful woman who was just diagnosed last week with it, I will do whatever it takes to show my mom my full support.

I love my mom. She is my spiritual GIANT. She probably is smarter than your honor student, but if she had a bumper sticker, even in light of her recent diagnosis, it would read like the one above, "God is Faithful! I trust in Him! And He is Good!"

More to come...

Call a plumber!!!!!

I was talking with a friend recently, the kind that, even though we don't get to do daily life together as we had in the past, we just pick up where we left off. I hope you have those kinds of friendships, too, where the love runs deep and there isn't performance pressure. Anyway, we caught up on day to day life and then dug deeper finding out how siblings and parents were fairing. And not just for knowledge sake. We dug deeper because we knew in sharing that prayers would be said for our loved ones.

My heart got sick when my friend shared about a sibling of hers...how this particular sibling who had considered himself a Christian the majority of his life was now disenchanted not only with American Christianity, but even Jesus.

Jesus?

Really?!

SERIOUSLY?! Jesus?????

I get the part about American Christianity/Religion...but Jesus?!

Huh.

Makes me want to cut off that siblings ear. Not because I think that sibling sucks or even that Jesus needs defending. He's a Big Boy. He can handle people, His people, His beloved, wrestling with Him. I just think it's a total load of crap, a complete cop-out, a lazy-pursuit or lack thereof, to throw away Jesus with the bathwater just because the world is filled with really flaky people called humans who hurt other peoples feelings and misrepresent God on a daily basis.


I hurt people's feelings and make mistakes and misrepresent God all the time...I'm not boasting. I'm not proud of it. But God doesn't tuck nicely into a little box, building or religious set of rules. I don't mean to hurt others. I really am sorry!

But, BUT, BUT...that doesn't change God's character or His love for us. Our flakiness doesn't change God at all. Just because I am a jerk doesn't mean God is. God has always been the same, He has never changed. God is love. He is love. He is the very definition.

But I do share the depth of heart, love, and intimacy for Christ that the disciple who did the ear cutting did. Plus, I have 2000 years of experiential learning on that guy. Not that I'm that old, of course, sheesh, I'm only pushing 40, but countless stories of life transformation have occurred between today and that ear-cutting. I have gotten to actually read and re-read the part where Jesus said, "No more of this!" and then reached out and healed the man's ear. The very man who was just doing the grunt work of his "higher ups." He had no clue Who he was seizing...and the ear-cutter, well, he was just really zealous. I mean, who wouldn't be if your bff was Jesus?!


No, the ear-cutting disciple couldn't hear The Message or read the NIV translation. He was there, in the moment breathing the same O2 as Jesus, and the thought of his Innocent Friend being seized for ridiculous political and religious reasons was absurd enough for him to do some ear-chopping, though I'm sure he meant to do a bit more damage than that.

I don't REALLY want to cut off my friend's brother's ear. Rather, I'd love to turn it back to God's Spirit, turn it back to what he knew, or even turn his ears toward Jesus alone, without the pomp and pageantry, without all the gray noise...Just Jesus. Maybe the Jesus he never had the chance to know amidst the crisp, clean rules and regulations of religiosity, aka, modern Pharisee.

We all have stories. Some could say that they gave up on the Church because they were abused emotionally, physically, sexually or another way by a trusted leader, even a parent. Others could say they gave up on the Church because they were abused financially or theologically. Your story might be that you experienced significant loss, illness, need, or were simply seeking friendship or comfort and encouragement and the Church totally dropped the ball in your darkest hour and those you found faithful were work companions, neighbors, and the atheists on the corner.

I understand the disappointment. I honestly do. I've faced more on this earth than I ever wanted to...and it's all since meeting Jesus. But I wouldn't change it...

Here's a snippet of my colorful church experience: I grew up in the Catholic church until I was confirmed at the end of 9th grade. I learned as a child that God loves me and that Jesus died for me. I found out years later that one of the priests was friendly with some of the altar boys. Do I hate Catholics? No. From there, my family went to a little church, non-denominational, where we continued to learn more about God's love for us but began actually reading the Bible ourselves. We then moved for a job and later found out that the pastor and the church secretary at our old church (where we first fell in love with God's word) were having sex up on the altar while just next door they ran a school, where my sister attended. Do I hate church secretaries? No. For a year we visited several different churches, then moved back to our old city where we found a new church. This one was bonus, man. It all seemed to start out just fine, nicely balanced, but it was the late 80's, early 90's and it was Scottsdale, so money was muy importante. (That's Spanish for a big deal.) And, if it helps you understand the scene and why some have sought "spirituality" elsewhere, well, Katy Perry, as a little kid, and her family were very much involved in my church. *(I know, right?! I could have chucked the whole scene and been a millionaire singer...except I can't sing...)

Anyway, long story short, I headed off to college before it got ugly, but my folks were asked to leave the church because they didn't want to support the "financial" pursuit the pastor and another guy had for the congregation. Let's just say Uncle Sam didn't appreciate the financial pursuit of the church, either, and one guy did some time for robbing widows and orphans, and other people. Do I hate money, or even "offering" time? No. Fast forward... after I had served at a church for 2.5 years as head of their women's ministry, Noah was born and got sick. During his 5.5 month stay at the hospital, a couple of staff from that church visited the first week. We heard from the pastor via letter after Noah died. I never knew anyone from that church, besides personal friends, were standing by us during that time in our lives until a few of them showed up at Noah's funeral. A funeral at a different church that did step in and support us. Do I hate that other church's guts? No...but I don't go there anymore.

I forgive. I don't carry offense. I move on. I walk away. Because early on, in college, actually, during a mandatory "revival" I sat down and had a heart to heart with God. I cried out, "God, please help me to know You in spite of all this. I KNOW You are true! Please help me remember what You want me to remember and forget the rest!"

It hasn't been perfect. It hasn't been smooth. But throwing Jesus out with the bathwater...I'd venture to say that those who can easily do that never actually encountered the personal, redeeming Christ...or were never told it was okay to wrestle with Him, to confess disappointment, disenchantment.

No, I'm pretty sure they only met His flaky followers. And that really stinks, because one, there will always be flaky followers, and TWO, Jesus is the Surest thing in the Universe...the biggest un-flake that ever existed!

I have more thoughts on this, as well as some opinions on faith and "East meets West" but this is already a novel...so, until next time...

What's your point?!

Not trying to shock you, but here is a bumper sticker I had to sit behind in traffic recently. It read, "I piss excellence."

Really? That's fabulous?????? Congratulations?! What does that even MEAN, you numb skull?!

Oh. My. Word. Seriously? Can we just talk about what messages we are trying to get across here?!

I am specifically talking about bumper stickers and other images and messages displayed on the backsides of our vehicles.

Personally, I am not a fan of bumper stickers, although, for the most part, I do read them as I drive on my way. I don't judge you if you choose to put them on your car, it's just that my husband and I decided long ago not to put stickers on our vehicles. It's not a big deal. We have lots of opinions and thoughts on life. We support and love many different organizations. We just don't do bumper stickers. That's all.

Let's review some though, shall we?

There's the parent who has to point out that their kid is smarter than yours. Just because someone has a "My kid made the honor roll" sign on their car doesn't mean your kid is an idiot. They are proud parents, that's all...and no, your dog isn't smarter than their kid, either.

Or that ridiculous and crude kid that has his pants down and is urinating on whatever it is the driver wants to belittle. Chevy and Ford should just be friends, already!

Here's my favorite...the guy in the big beefy truck that has dark tinted windows, meaty tires with girly flaps and a pair of blue balls hanging from the hitch. REALLY?! You are admitting to the world that your truck is making up for your lack of intimacy?!?!

Or, "Silly boys! Trucks are for girls!" I love to drive trucks, I have to say, but they aren't gender specific. They are trucks. They are for boys and girls. Trucks are gender neutral...

I actually like the family stickers. You've usually got a dad figure, a mom, a couple kids or more, even a cat and dog. And, if your family was lucky enough, your family figures have big mouse ears on them...or, if you are outdoorsy, your family is made up of sea turtles...which means you were probably lucky enough to buy them in Hawaii.

I personally am not quite sure what the "I piss excellence" bumper sticker is all about. All I know is that it's crude and not the kind of bumper sticker I would ever choose. But I guess it stuck with me...so very glad that guy got his message across...(kick him in the shin!)

If there was room on the back of my car to get a message across worth the adhesive it would say, "Hey, whether you believe it or not, God is totally, completely, madly in love with you! Yep! He loves you exactly the way you are, sitting there in your car, singing, smoking, picking your nose, yelling at your kids in the back seat, whatever. He even loves you as you are tailgating me to read this bumper sticker. And, since the beginning of time a lot has happened. He's been misrepresented, even gotten a bad wrap. Maybe you could care less, but here's the deal, whether you like Him or not, you will meet Him face to face one day. On that day He'll tell you how much He loves you...like He's been telling you all along. He'll remind you that He sent His Son to die on a cross for you because you were worth it. You can wait until that day to meet Him, but living life here on earth with Him in your heart is better than chocolate or Monday Night Football! Life won't necessarily be smooth, you may experience heartache and pain, your kid might not make the honor roll, you may not even pee straight, but God's totally and completely in love with you and would love to have a personal relationship with you today."

I know that bumper stickers or symbols on our cars are an expression of who we are or what we believe and support. Some are encouraging and thought provoking...others just funny, while others, as you've witnessed above, plain old ignorant.

Since the back of my Honda Accord just isn't big enough to display my sentiments, I won't be having this particular bumper sticker made up.

However, when I went to renew my tags the other day, something occurred to me. I can work the "no bumper sticker" rule with personalized plates. I can get another message across. It's a message of support and something I've championed in the past. It's a message that wasn't close to home. Now it's a message that is front and tail end on my car.

I bought pink license plates.

I know that in buying "Breast Cancer Awareness" plates I won't beat the disease, but, as the daughter of a beautiful woman who was just diagnosed last week with it, I will do whatever it takes to show my mom my full support.

I love my mom. She is my spiritual GIANT. She probably is smarter than your honor student, but if she had a bumper sticker, even in light of her recent diagnosis, it would read like the one above, "God is Faithful! I trust in Him! And He is Good!"

More to come...