Loveolution

We need to start a "Loveolution."  Actually, we need to carry out what was already started years ago...like, thousands of years ago, where EL. OH. VEE.  EE. was the headline news, not the other crap on TV, but news worthy in that it was spoken and acted out, person to person, in real life, God to man. The kind of news where people ran from town to town to tell how their lives were radically changed, for eternity...

Love + Revolution = Loveolution

Love is, according to the "Free Dictionary":

• A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

Revolution is, according to the "Free Dictionary":

• 1a.  Orbital motion about a point, especially as distinguished from axial rotation: ie, planetary revolution about the sun.
• 1b.  A turning or rotational motion about an axis.
• 1c.  A single complete cycle of such orbital or axial motion.
• 2.  The overthrow of one government and its replacement with another.
• 3.  A sudden or momentous change in a situation.

So, picture this:  all of us, every. single. one. of. us. orbiting, or rotating our lives, NOT around our own intentions, motives, or seemingly selfless behaviors, but around LOVE.  Loving God first, loving ourselves the way we've been created, and loving everyone else with whom we come in contact.

INTENTIONAL LOVE.

It's not easy.  Some don't, or won't, love God.  They have too many walls to even believe He is good, or that He exists at all.

Others, like I've done in the past, don't, or won't, love ourselves, grateful for all our quirks and imperfections that add to the beauty and variety of life.

And loving others...even the crusty weird neighbor or crotchety relative who is negative, negative, negative?  Even that one?  Ummm, that's not easy.

Yeah, but who said it's supposed to be easy?  We want it to be, but loving is tough stuff, because we all have rough edges and we've all been hurt.

Our "underlying oneness" from the definition above is that God made us all...

We need a Loveolution.  

Before any more laws are passed and any more hate is spread, we need to literally STOP.  I don't give a rip about what kind of government is or isn't in place, if we don't have love, it doesn't mean jack squat.

Imagine if all the hate in the world was overthrown with a Loveolution?

With this previous election, there were days where I could taste bile in my mouth because of how nauseous I was from all the hatred being spewed...and from people who use my Lord's name...in vain.

Don't pervert my God!

People think using God's name in vain is what people yell at the opposing teams at a sports match, or at the guy who cut you off in traffic.

Using God's name in vain is claiming to be His yet not walking in LOVE.

Stop.  Don't do it.  How sickening that the name of Jesus Christ is being perverted by people spreading hatred!  It's opposite of Who He was, Who He is, and Who He is supposed to be in us.

I'm a Christian woman.  This means I am a forgiven human who has an intimate relationship with the Creator of the Universe because of His selfless action of unconditional love, God becoming a man in order to know what earth-life really is like, outside of His physical presence.  This doesn't mean I am perfect or ever claim to be.  It just means I'm not using His name in vain, for my own selfish ambition, but out of thankfulness for being saved from my sorry self.

Religion is death.  Don't equate a relationship with God with the word "religion."

A relationship with Almighty God is awesome and intimate and holy and beautiful, and messy on our part, but moldable and completely attainable here on earth, not because of our actions or behaviors, but because God loves us, each of us, and extends that love and grace to us every day.

I mean, what would happen if there was a sudden and momentous change in the earth towards Love?  You know, praying in school, to God, doesn't hurt anyone.  It doesn't hurt anyone in any religion that does claim God.  And it won't hurt the people in school who don't believe in Him because it won't affect them, right?!  I mean, they don't think He's there, so, let's just bring it back.

I heard today that the Mayans never foresaw December 21st as a physical end of the world as we know it, but rather a spiritual end of the world.  Wow.  That's much more profound than all the previous town criers who have even written books or purchased air time for their untimely foreshadowing.

The world I live in today is in pain.  It's dark.  Sometimes it's difficult to see the Light, but He is there, shining, moving in hearts, one at a time.  I won't live in fear because I have hope and I know there's more to this life than what I see.

However, in the meantime, I live here.  I breathe the same air as Jesus once did and as horrible dictators do in war-torn countries.  We all spin on the same physical axis and orbit around the same sun, but we aren't all revolving around the same Love agenda.

We need to, though.  We need a Loveolution.  And we need one NOW.  No more wasting time.  The time is NOW to start loving God, loving ourselves, and loving our fellow man.

We need a Loveolution.

Love, SPREAD IT!

God's agenda has always been LOVE.  The Devil, on the other hand, has never been anything other than an asshole.

Hate evil.  Cling to what is good.  Do not live in fear but know that Perfect LOVE casts out all fear.

A LOVE REVOLUTION.  It's time we got started...

INTENTIONAL PUPIL

God’s been having me write out some scriptures for myself to study and really chew on, if you will.  

For me, writing it down, or typing it, helps get it into my heart more and more.  

He’s really put it on my heart to be an intentional pupil of His Word, like basically back in college, getting a Major in God Studies :)  

(That's the last page of the Bible...and across the page are Noah's footprints from his last night on earth...)

Some of them are being spurred on from a Daniel study I’m doing by Beth Moore.  But He has put it on my heart to encourage others, as well, and for my own accountability.  Please don’t think I’m trying to re-write scripture.  I’m just stringing it together for the overall message, into one challenge to myself, for a complete thought.  I hope it encourages your hearts, too, on your own journeys.  

Love, Ade xoxox

It’s from The Message, Hebrews 12, John 11, 1 Peter 1 & 2.


“Do you see what this means – all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on?  It means we’d better get on with it.  Strip down, start running – and never quit!  No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.  Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in.  Study how he did it.  Because he never lost sight of where he was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God...when you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through.  That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!  God is educating you; that is why you must never drop out.  This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it training...it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.  Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall...Help each other out.  And run for it!  When Jesus got the message, He said, “This sickness is not fatal.  It will become an occasion to show God’s glory by glorifying God’s Son.”  So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives.  Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing.  You didn’t know any better then; you do now...let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness.  You call out to God for help and he helps – he’s a good Father that way.  But don’t forget, he’s also a responsible Father, and won’t let you get by with sloppy living.  Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.  Even though it has only lately – at the end of the ages – become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you...drink deep of God’s pure kindness.  Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.  Present yourselves as building stones for the construction of a sanctuary vibrant with life, offering Christ-approved lives up to God.  To you who trust him, he’s a Stone to be proud of...for the untrusting, they trip and fall because they refuse to obey, just as predicted.  But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high-calling...God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you – from nothing to something..Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it.  Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul.  Live an exemplary life among the natives...then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives...good citizens...It is God’s will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you’re a danger to society...cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.  I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime.  Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.  When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.  The Day is coming when you'll have it all – life healed and whole.”

Grieving With Others

You know, I was never a fan of funerals and potato salad or dying people or dead ones or death or pretty much anything that had to do with end of life.  As a kid, from grade 3 and then throughout junior high and high school, a friend, classmate, relative, or pet, died, each year.  Super fun, YEAH!

When I was really little, like preschool age, the guy across the street backed over his son.  My mom was gardening and heard him yelling at his big brother (only 4 at the time) that he was supposed to be watching his little brother.  Messed up...

After my friends and I walked home from the bus stop one day, about a half hour later I heard emergency sirens and a helicopter.  My friend, John, who Stacey and Marc and I were just walking with, was in that life chopper, hooked up to machines, on his way to his last breath.  I didn't go to the funeral.

The first funeral I even remember was my own Grandpa's.  Enough people had died in my life by then that to actually have to face it and attend a funeral, at age 16, made me nauseous.  I was FREAKED out!  Likely this was due to my own deceitfulness and sneaking I had done in junior high watching "R" Rated horror films while my parents were gone.

What the hell was I thinking?  You name it, my friends and I snuck and saw it.  Children of the Corn, Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, who knows what else...

Jacked up.  Like, totally, completely, utterly EFFFFFF-ed up!

Wow.  To think Hollywood makes money off glorifying death and dying and the underworld.  It's the unknown that fascinates, but to horrify it?  Dear Lord.

And now I've tasted death.  In fact, not only have I soaked my dead son with my tears, but I've grieved with others who have done the same.

I've kissed death.  It's bitter.  What if Eve had picked fruit from "The Tree of Life" instead of the tree of the "Knowledge and Evil?"  We never would have tasted the salty bitter emptiness that comes to those of us left this side of Heaven.  We never would have experienced separation from God...

EVE!!!!  #$%^&*(

This month my friend, Carly Marie Dudley in Australia, is hosting "Capture Your Grief" for Pregnancy and Infant Loss.  She's created a Facebook page for people to share their stories according to the topic of the day.  I headed over there just to check it out.  You know, since it's been 5+ years since I held Noah, I was just going over to the site to encourage others, probably new moms and losses.  And then I started reading, and just saying, "I'm so sorry for your loss!" and looking at the beautiful lives affected by death and temporary separation, yet heartache, nonetheless.

And then I posted a picture.  Because it was a call for "Pre-Loss" pictures.  And that was easy, because I posted this:

 
It's a picture of Noah, in my belly, safe and sound.  And it's utter pregnancy joy on my face, looking at myself for the first time in my life and thinking, "Wow!  I'm beautiful!"  And it's a gift to my heart because I didn't know.  All I knew was I would have a son, and I was already in love with him.

Being over at Carly's Facebook page with all those stories is difficult.  It's not cupcakes and tequila.  It wrecks me to know other families hearts will know the same pain mine has known.  I knew when Noah was sick, and after he died, that we weren't the first and wouldn't be the last.  But there's still a hope and a wish it could have ended with *us*.

When I saw my Grandpa, lying there in his coffin, hands folded, handsome, eyes closed, with a little too much make up, a peace I had not yet known in my life swept over me.  I remember thinking, "Huh.  That's not my Gramps.  That's just his body.  He is with God.  He is at rest."

Today the call on "Capture the Grief" was to post about a treasured item.

If you've read here long, you know I'm not attached to things.  Remember my purge fests?  Anyway, I realized, though, my most treasured item is my Bible.  It's my most treasured item because, well, it's my Bible.  Duh.  But, also because the night before we said goodbye to Noah, his nurses brought me ink sheets so we could stamp his feet.  I searched for a clean page in my (at the time) 20 year old Bible.  The only page I could find was opposite the last page.

Revelation 22:20 and "Footprints"

Revelation 22:20  "He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.'"

AMEN.  COME, LORD JESUS!

I treasure this for the promise that it is, as well...that life here on Earth is literally but a vapor!

Lost in Translation

I'm kind of cranky about something.  It's been bothering me a while and not until I was able to listen to my 9 year old daughter's perspective on the whole thing, did it come full circle and make sense.

That's right.  I said a child taught me something.  They have so very much to teach us.  Are we watching, listening, learning, and applying it to our own lives?

Anyway, some organizations give out New Testaments.  Not entire Bibles, but just New Testaments.  In the same vein, some people only talk about Jesus.  Just Jesus.  They rarely mention the name, "God" and have forgotten entirely about that other important One, what's His name?  Oh yeah, the Holy Spirit.

For the most part, except for magazines, I read from the first page to the last one.  (I like to flip through a magazine backwards for whatever reason...)  So, I understand why sitting down in front of a Bible could be daunting.  Depending on the translation there are upwards of 1950 pages to digest.  That is a lot of pages.  And they aren't just pages filled with words but filled with stories of many historical events, people, places, not to mention Creation of the whole entire Universe and a whole heck of a lot of wars and prophecies yet to be fulfilled.  So, content is rich and thick.  It's not one of those books you just sit down to with a cup of tea and finish up over the weekend by a fire.

It's also not one of those books you read only once.  At least it isn't meant to be.

What I wonder is why some people are able to devour an entire series of pop culture books that are "all the rage" and recommend them highly to everyone on Facebook and Twitter, but when it comes to consuming the same amount of pages in the Bible, it sits there, unread, crisp and a little dusty?

I've read the Bible.  I've read it a few times.  It was my main textbook in college as a theology major.  And yes, when I became a Christian, I read the book of John first, the proceeded to read the rest of the New Testament before I read the Old Testament.  Because that's what some other people encouraged me to do.  And it's all worked out just fine.  So this concern of mine, it isn't life and death, per se...

But my beef is this:  Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."  (You can read the entire passage and context in Matthew 5:17-20)  So, for people who are ONLY reading the New Testament, there are so many things they are missing out on.  For example, the WHOLE REASON Jesus came in the first place.  And how do you know WHAT LAW He came NOT to abolish?  And how does a person know Jesus is the fulfillment of Biblical and historical prophecy if they only ever read the New Testament?

If you had tripped and fallen on some train tracks and were unable to get to your feet as a locomotive approached, you would be able to see it coming, hear its whistle, assess the situation, realize you need the train to put on its brakes which wouldn't occur in time for your cataclysmic encounter, so you would know with quite clarity that you need a rescuer.

Me:  Em, something has been bothering me lately.
Em:  What's that, Mom?
Me:  Well, some organizations give people New Testaments.  They don't give them the whole Bible.  What do you think about that?
Em:  Well, that's just lame.  I love the Old Testament!  I mean, you know my favorite story is Moses and the plagues.  And what about Joseph being sold into slavery?  Man, if people are only reading the New Testament they are really missing out!
Me:  Why do you think they are missing out?
Em:  Because even though the New Testament is about Jesus and Him saving us from sin and death, it's important to know what we've been saved from.
Me:  That's exactly what I'm talking about!
Me:  It's great that they are getting copies of the New Testament, for sure.  Don't get me wrong.  But why not just give a person the whole Bible and then encourage them with a reading plan of how to tackle the Big Book in bite sized pieces?
Em:  Yeah, I love the Old Testament!  It's my favorite!

Now, granted, some reading may think, "Well, I know what I've been saved from:  drugs, prostitution, addiction, abuse, a crazy childhood, a bad marriage, my own selfishness...."  Yes.  I get that.  Ditto.

But to have a bigger picture of the Grace which has been extended and offered freely to every. single. person. on. earth. we must not throw the baby out with the bath water.

Yeah, I get it.  There's some crazy stuff which is also difficult to understand in the Old Testament.  I'm going to be jotting down some of my personal thoughts on those here, soon.  If you are interested, come on back for more.

But Jesus isn't just the Cliff Notes.

He's the whole 9 yards.


*What are your thoughts on just handing people the New Testament?
*Do you think the message is lost without the bigger picture of the Bible as a whole?

Some Thoughts on Greatness...

Sorry I've been absent for quite some time.  I've been working on this:

And by, "I've been working on this", I mean, I'm totally and completely technically and artistically challenged when it comes to graphic design, so I don't mean that I designed the awesome circle of B's representing Bevy above.  My friend from college in his coolness and awesome style pulled this together!

I've been working on the vision, content, and getting the word out for my non-profit organization, Bevy.  Namely, the Bevy Retreat side of things.  And by "I've been working on this, I really mean, I'm collaborating with AMAZING VOLUNTEERS IN THE MIDWEST WHO ARE WORKING ON THIS..."

Anyway, here are some thoughts that have been careening through my heart and mind over the last several years, but especially the last few weeks, and specifically the last hour or so...

Happy, Happy, Happy Easter!  And when I say that, it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with a sweaty creepy guy in a furry polyester rabbit suit.

It has EVERYTHING TO DO with the Savior of the Universe who made a way for me to have an intimate relationship with my very own Creator God!

Jealousy

Have you ever been jealous of someones life? Maybe their circumstances, their title, bank account, seemingly problem-free family life?

I just received a text from one of my best friends telling me that her sweet Grandma was now with Jesus.

I'm not trying to sound overly spiritual, because actually, my initial response surprised me even a little, but I immediately felt jealousy. Not because my friend's heart is hurting. That would just be weird. Not because she and her family are grieving the loss of a beloved woman.

A different kind of jealousy.

I had just tucked Ryan in for his morning nap, taking in his cuteness, soaking in his little head snuggled into my shoulder, in awe of God and the gift of being able to hold his chubby feet in the palm of my hand. As I always do, I prayed over him and his time of rest, that the Lord would bless his dreams with dreams only He could instill in my son's heart. I prayed God would put a deep desire in Ryan all the days of his life to pursue God and serve Him always, to be used for His Kingdom and to be a man who longed for Jesus' return. And I thanked God, as I smooched Ryan's sweet, soft cheeks, that He loved him more than I ever could and, in His goodness, had a plan from the beginning of time to save the baby I love bigger than the Universe from death because of sin in the world.

I had to leave his room (because he wouldn't fall asleep if I stayed there staring at him, obviously, and because I was so choked up, thankful that God is so in love with His creation that He'd do what He did for crummy old us...).

And then I got my friend's text.

My phone was on the kitchen counter where Jeremy Riddle was belting out "What Joy is Found" and, at that moment, I was overcome with jealousy...

...a different jealousy than the kind that leaves a sick, dissatisfied feeling in our hearts. Instead, the kind that instills a passionate pursuit and longing for the very thing we were created to do. Like when you just feel this intense drive or motivation to do something with all your heart!

Like worship at the feet of the All-loving Father, the One True God, King of kings and Lord of lords, Creator, Divine, Everlasting, Good, Holy, Healer, Redeemer, Savior, Majestic, Pure, Beautiful, Wise God.

We weren't made for here. We were made to live in His presence.

Do you long for it or does the thought scare the tar out of you? Or is it the furthest thing from your mind because the busyness of life has set in?

I'm not going to lie and say it's the thought at the forefront of my heart every. single. moment.

But at that moment, when I learned that my friend's Gramma was with Jesus, it was...

Call a plumber!!!!!

I was talking with a friend recently, the kind that, even though we don't get to do daily life together as we had in the past, we just pick up where we left off. I hope you have those kinds of friendships, too, where the love runs deep and there isn't performance pressure. Anyway, we caught up on day to day life and then dug deeper finding out how siblings and parents were fairing. And not just for knowledge sake. We dug deeper because we knew in sharing that prayers would be said for our loved ones.

My heart got sick when my friend shared about a sibling of hers...how this particular sibling who had considered himself a Christian the majority of his life was now disenchanted not only with American Christianity, but even Jesus.

Jesus?

Really?!

SERIOUSLY?! Jesus?????

I get the part about American Christianity/Religion...but Jesus?!

Huh.

Makes me want to cut off that siblings ear. Not because I think that sibling sucks or even that Jesus needs defending. He's a Big Boy. He can handle people, His people, His beloved, wrestling with Him. I just think it's a total load of crap, a complete cop-out, a lazy-pursuit or lack thereof, to throw away Jesus with the bathwater just because the world is filled with really flaky people called humans who hurt other peoples feelings and misrepresent God on a daily basis.


I hurt people's feelings and make mistakes and misrepresent God all the time...I'm not boasting. I'm not proud of it. But God doesn't tuck nicely into a little box, building or religious set of rules. I don't mean to hurt others. I really am sorry!

But, BUT, BUT...that doesn't change God's character or His love for us. Our flakiness doesn't change God at all. Just because I am a jerk doesn't mean God is. God has always been the same, He has never changed. God is love. He is love. He is the very definition.

But I do share the depth of heart, love, and intimacy for Christ that the disciple who did the ear cutting did. Plus, I have 2000 years of experiential learning on that guy. Not that I'm that old, of course, sheesh, I'm only pushing 40, but countless stories of life transformation have occurred between today and that ear-cutting. I have gotten to actually read and re-read the part where Jesus said, "No more of this!" and then reached out and healed the man's ear. The very man who was just doing the grunt work of his "higher ups." He had no clue Who he was seizing...and the ear-cutter, well, he was just really zealous. I mean, who wouldn't be if your bff was Jesus?!


No, the ear-cutting disciple couldn't hear The Message or read the NIV translation. He was there, in the moment breathing the same O2 as Jesus, and the thought of his Innocent Friend being seized for ridiculous political and religious reasons was absurd enough for him to do some ear-chopping, though I'm sure he meant to do a bit more damage than that.

I don't REALLY want to cut off my friend's brother's ear. Rather, I'd love to turn it back to God's Spirit, turn it back to what he knew, or even turn his ears toward Jesus alone, without the pomp and pageantry, without all the gray noise...Just Jesus. Maybe the Jesus he never had the chance to know amidst the crisp, clean rules and regulations of religiosity, aka, modern Pharisee.

We all have stories. Some could say that they gave up on the Church because they were abused emotionally, physically, sexually or another way by a trusted leader, even a parent. Others could say they gave up on the Church because they were abused financially or theologically. Your story might be that you experienced significant loss, illness, need, or were simply seeking friendship or comfort and encouragement and the Church totally dropped the ball in your darkest hour and those you found faithful were work companions, neighbors, and the atheists on the corner.

I understand the disappointment. I honestly do. I've faced more on this earth than I ever wanted to...and it's all since meeting Jesus. But I wouldn't change it...

Here's a snippet of my colorful church experience: I grew up in the Catholic church until I was confirmed at the end of 9th grade. I learned as a child that God loves me and that Jesus died for me. I found out years later that one of the priests was friendly with some of the altar boys. Do I hate Catholics? No. From there, my family went to a little church, non-denominational, where we continued to learn more about God's love for us but began actually reading the Bible ourselves. We then moved for a job and later found out that the pastor and the church secretary at our old church (where we first fell in love with God's word) were having sex up on the altar while just next door they ran a school, where my sister attended. Do I hate church secretaries? No. For a year we visited several different churches, then moved back to our old city where we found a new church. This one was bonus, man. It all seemed to start out just fine, nicely balanced, but it was the late 80's, early 90's and it was Scottsdale, so money was muy importante. (That's Spanish for a big deal.) And, if it helps you understand the scene and why some have sought "spirituality" elsewhere, well, Katy Perry, as a little kid, and her family were very much involved in my church. *(I know, right?! I could have chucked the whole scene and been a millionaire singer...except I can't sing...)

Anyway, long story short, I headed off to college before it got ugly, but my folks were asked to leave the church because they didn't want to support the "financial" pursuit the pastor and another guy had for the congregation. Let's just say Uncle Sam didn't appreciate the financial pursuit of the church, either, and one guy did some time for robbing widows and orphans, and other people. Do I hate money, or even "offering" time? No. Fast forward... after I had served at a church for 2.5 years as head of their women's ministry, Noah was born and got sick. During his 5.5 month stay at the hospital, a couple of staff from that church visited the first week. We heard from the pastor via letter after Noah died. I never knew anyone from that church, besides personal friends, were standing by us during that time in our lives until a few of them showed up at Noah's funeral. A funeral at a different church that did step in and support us. Do I hate that other church's guts? No...but I don't go there anymore.

I forgive. I don't carry offense. I move on. I walk away. Because early on, in college, actually, during a mandatory "revival" I sat down and had a heart to heart with God. I cried out, "God, please help me to know You in spite of all this. I KNOW You are true! Please help me remember what You want me to remember and forget the rest!"

It hasn't been perfect. It hasn't been smooth. But throwing Jesus out with the bathwater...I'd venture to say that those who can easily do that never actually encountered the personal, redeeming Christ...or were never told it was okay to wrestle with Him, to confess disappointment, disenchantment.

No, I'm pretty sure they only met His flaky followers. And that really stinks, because one, there will always be flaky followers, and TWO, Jesus is the Surest thing in the Universe...the biggest un-flake that ever existed!

I have more thoughts on this, as well as some opinions on faith and "East meets West" but this is already a novel...so, until next time...

Pink snow

Just before the sun breaks the horizon in the east, the most breathtaking thing happens a few miles west of our house...the Rocky Mountains turn shades of pink. All shades, even ranging to salmon. It is amazing, to say the least.

And then, as the sun rises, all the colors fade and what is left is plain, old, white snow-capped mountains. And by "plain, old, white" I mean:

• Clean
• Fresh
• Pure
• Spotless
• New
• Unadulterated
• Uncontaminated
• Untainted
• Pristine

I love the sunrise when I am up to greet it. Until I moved to Colorado, I usually looked east to see the sunrise...seeing as how that's where it rises and all...but the effect of the sunrise on the mountains has caused my eyes to look west and watch God's artistry in action.

I have lived in the Denver, Colorado area for almost 9 years now and I have never gotten sick of looking west at the mountains. I am in awe that there is a true God, the One and Only God, who is capable of such beauty and creativity.

Now, for those who know me, you know I'm not a fan of being cold. In fact, I'm headed to get some blood work done today because I get downright cranky and teary when I am cold, which is pretty much every day the temps dip below 50. It must be my Arizona upbringing, being spoiled in the desert? Somehow, though, I can handle snow here better than I did in Minnesota for 8 years...but, I do love snow.

There, I admitted it. I love snow.

...from a distance (smiley face)

Snow is so pure. And to see hundreds of feet of it piled atop mountains is one of my favorite sights. It's so clean looking that it's hard for me to look away. No flaws. No stains. No dirt or crud. Not the snow you find at a dog park or along the highway. That's disgusting and the furthest thing from what I am describing.

Fresh, beautiful snow in the quiet of the forest. Clean, white snow in the field outside your farm.

And the beauty in it isn't just for us to play in and see. God gives it to every. single. person. as a reminder.

God talks about snow in the Bible. And He compares it to the way He views us.

Can you even imagine? He, God eternal, without imperfection, pure and holy, looks at us as though we were like snow.

David cries out, "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."

God answers in Isaiah, "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

When I look with my human eyes on the pink snowy mountains before the daybreak, though beautiful and breathtaking, my mind only sees the effects of the sunrise. My mind forgets momentarily that the mountains aren't actually hues of pink, but white, pure clean white.

Then the Light bursts forth over the horizon. The color is gone. The sun has shone and shown the true color.

The color white.

When I look in the mirror, I often judge myself. When we look around, we look at the outside of people. We see scarlet, pink, salmon, crimson. It's the effect of the world's lack of light, aka sin, that causes us to see an unsightly mark or imperfection in another.

It's the effect of trusting the Son, Jesus Christ, with our lives that we are able to look in the mirror and see what God sees. That we can look at another and know the same God who created the Universe and sees us as clean, new, pure, is the same God who created that guy, and that guy, and that guy over there...and when He looks at them, and at me, He sees white.

We aren't perfect...but it's how God sees us because of crimson red blood that was given for us.

I am so grateful God puts reminders like sunrises and majestic mountains on His Earth to show His unconditional love for every. single. one. of. us.

The Reason?

For several years now I've not been able to put into words my feelings or thoughts on Christmas, and why, for a time, I've found myself even cranky about it.

I think I've figured it out.

There are certain dates that stand out in my calendar year. Dates to remember. Obviously we all have birthdays. And then there are national holidays, world wide holidays, personal anniversaries or dates to remember, and then, in my life, the days several loved ones have gone before me into God's amazing presence, leaving us behind.

And since losing a son on January 12th, 2007, a son who was born June 10th, 2006, those particular dates have new meaning for me rather than just being days after my birthday or weeks before our wedding anniversary. They are kind of a big deal. But they also are not...

Let me explain. Every. Single. Day. I remember that we had a son and that he died. Every. Single. August through January, I remember that we spent 5 months in the hospital with our son that passed away. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday...these all over-lapped Noah's life in the hospital. Do I think about it at Every. Single. Moment? No. But it is part of my core. I cannot escape it. It has helped shape me. God is good and I do not despise having walked in the sufferings of Christ for God's glory.

But the pressure to make those days stand out more than the next...I feel like that is where we are missing out on something far greater...

...And that is a daily walk and celebration of knowing the God of the Universe, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace, the Holy God who adores us. Every. Single. Day.

Jesus. Every. Single. Day.

So, for me, as far as Christmas goes, I am aware that Jesus came as a baby to this earth 2000+ years ago. Every. Single. Day. I am also keenly aware and wordlessly thankful for what His life meant for all of mankind, for me specifically, as well as His death and resurrection. Every. Single. Day.

Believe me, I am not Scrooge. I love Christmas for the fun traditions, recipes, music, parties, and the opportunity to just give things to people for no particular reason, just because I can. I love the decorations, twinkling lights, the smells and the spirit that comes out in people. I am grateful God made the mountains capped with snow splashed with trees that never lose their green...because even the trees and rocks and all of creation shout praises to our God.

We've always told Em about a man named St. Nicholas who gave gifts to orphans which is where the tradition began, but it hasn't ever been the central theme at our home. I think she sat on his lap once or twice, but she wasn't impressed. No, for us it's been about family and being together...being thankful...like an extension of Thanksgiving.

But, by any stretch of the imagination, I cannot justify that I give Jason and Emily and Ryan and others gifts because a long time ago Jesus was born and some wise men from the East made their way to Him to worship Him and shower Him with gifts fit for the King. They made their way to Him because God marked it in the sky to show these guys the way to the Truth, to eternal Life, to salvation...His very own star that led them to the feet of the Savior of the world.

No one really even knows when Jesus' birthday was, but most scholars and historians agree it was not December 25th. No, I give the people in my life gifts because I am thankful for them, not because I worship them. And I decorate because it's pretty. Does this mean I celebrate a pagan holiday? No.

So, what I think I've figured out is that, for me, it's okay to celebrate Christmas Every. Single. Day. Because it means I am celebrating the Life of Christ. It doesn't mean I have to put pressure on myself to justify the tree and stockings in order to make them "spiritual" in meaning.

Instead, it means if I am to celebrate the Life of Christ every day, it bears more responsibility, which is really nothing different from what I've known. That my life is not my own. That my attitude should reflect Christ. That I need to live life in a generous way, selflessly, giving to others...laying down my life for a friend.

That's not a one time a year thingy.

It's a lifestyle.

So, is Jesus the Reason for the Season? Kinda, sorta...

Jesus Christ is the Reason for Every. Single. Day.

Merry Christmas!

What I'm chewing on...

I wanted to share some scriptures that I'm going to be meditating on this week, or for however long. I could type a million words here, but there is nothing on this earth more refreshing to me, whether I want to hear it or not, than God's Word.

My sweet friend a few years back made me a box of hundreds of scripture cards, all laminated and in pretty colors...yes, she was an Elementary school teacher...anyway, I keep it on a coffee table in my bedroom and while I feed Ryan I flip through these cards that are much more than just cards, but literal food for every part of my being.

In Jason's line of work it is common place, though heart-breaking, to encounter starvation and malnutrition.

In America it is common place to encounter over-eating or over-consumption, yet we rarely, if ever, equate it with the same definitions: starvation and malnutrition, lack or being without.

In America, we have so much. We have plenty. We have more than enough and even some of the most impoverished people in our country are better off than many of those in 3rd world countries.

And, in America, in American Christianity, there are many that on the outside look well-fed and nourished, yet on the inside are truly starving, barely surviving.

I lived like that for years...trying to follow Christ without getting to know Him in His Word...

John chapter six talks about Jesus being the "bread of life." In the wilderness when the Jews were wandering, God provided literal food, manna bread, for the people to ingest. For years, thousands of them, people have taken that sign as something with which we are to fill our lives with...we find comfort in it.

I found comfort in it for years...

The Jews were very comfortable knowing they'd find manna each morning out in the wilderness. Of course, then they started grumbling since they were eating it every single day...they longed for variety.

Jesus is that variety. He satisfies in a way we are unable to explain so that when our lives are in transition, holding patterns, complete chaos, knowing and trusting Christ brings a peace that no meal could satisfy.

Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to share...I was going to share the scriptures that I am chewing on, feasting on, in the days ahead. I hope they are an encouragement and challenge to you, as well.

• "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." NIV Psalm 51:12 Here's The Message version that ROCKS!
  
• "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." NIV John 15:4 Here it is in The Message.
• "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." NIV Galatians 5:22-23 Here it is in The Message.

It's so cool how these were the first 3 scripture cards in my little box this morning...and how they progress as you dig deeper into each one.

So that's what I'm chewing on. Want a bite?

What? Who? When? How? Why?

I've neglected my blog for so long, Blogger made me log in! Listen Blogger, just because I want to hang out with my family and friends, go to the pool, ride bikes, watch the sunsets and snuggle with my kid doesn't mean *you* have to act like *you* don't know me!

Anyway, a lot has happened over the last few weeks. August is always overwhelming for me on an internal responsibility scale. Almost every relative or in-law of mine has an August birthday. My intention for timely cards is always good, but never met with my actions. Throw in several friends, along with wedding anniversaries, as well as remembering special people I loved that have died in August, and we pretty much cover every date of the month. Now August 17th is marked in my heart as the day my last living grandmother went to meet God face to face. My grandma's got along quite nicely on earth, so they are probably hanging out together enjoying God's radiance along with so many other beautiful family and friends. I miss her and am grateful God allowed me to be her granddaughter.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, death that is, and how whenever someone dies there are always questions. "Why" is always a popular question. It usually pertains to the passers age, or the untimeliness of their death. A lot of people have lost their faith over this question. "Why him?" "Why now?" "Why not so and so?" "If God is so good, why, why, why?"

It's no secret if you've read here long that I no longer fear death. I had for 30 years but sitting every day for 5.5 months in a hospital, staring at the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on, who science would describe as 'living', and then one day literally kneeling on that hospital floor with his lifeless body in my arms, radically changed my view of death. I'm not sure I've been able to articulate it until now, and I'm still not so sure I will be able to, but I'll share some thoughts that have been running through my mind.

Instead of asking the question "Why?", I think what most people are truly struck by is the "How?" or "When?" I think it's fairly safe to say that most people are aware that we are all born and we all die. Some might argue their sweet child didn't have the chance to be born, but I would argue that the moment the sperm and egg became one, birth occurred, and however long you carried your child, there was life inside you. Anyway, this isn't a political post. My point here that I've been pondering is that faith crises often arise not from the fact that we all die, but "How?" or "At what age?"

If we all were assured that at age 96 years and 133 days and 17 hours and 54 minutes and 31 seconds we would die quietly in our sleep, that would be it, at least for most. We'd go about our days...living life to the fullest, but knowing that one day within our last year, it would be over. We would all be given the same amount of time, yet we would all choose to live our lives differently. Or would we? And, in true human fashion, most of us would still try to avoid that final day. Or maybe we'd accept it? Maybe if we knew when and how we were going to die, we'd be at peace with the whole concept of death? But we don't, and so many of us aren't. None of us knows when or how we will die, unless one takes their own life, but even at the beginning of their life, that person didn't know they would make that choice one day.

I personally think people rate death and death experiences, actually believing the lie that some deaths are better than others..."Oh, she died in her sleep. Such a peaceful way to go..." "He was hit by a car. So young! What a tragedy!" "He had been sick for so long. At least he isn't suffering anymore!" "She was in a plane crash, so scary but quick." Torture, famine, drowning, drive-by shooting, suffocation, chronic disease, SIDS...I could name a million diagnoses, a million different ways. Honestly, most people would raise their hand and say, "I'll have an order of old-age, please, hold the aches and suffering. Give me the 96 years, 133 days, 17 hours, 54 minutes, and 31 seconds, and not a minute less!" But that's not reality and that's not how it works. It could have very well worked that way had Adam and Eve not blown it in the Garden, thank you very much! But they blew it and so here we are...earth dwellers who have every right to be offended by death, but we are offended for the wrong reasons.

PEOPLE, GOD DID NOT INTEND FOR US TO DIE! And yet, when people are stuck on the "How?" it happened, they get mad at God. Some modern's have even taken the Enemy of our hearts right out of the equation because, according to them, Satan isn't real. The Devil doesn't exist and Hell isn't a real place. Don't get me started on this mumbo jumbo! Ironic how that is exactly what the Devil himself wants us to believe. That way God's the big meanie and our hearts grow bitter, angry, and eventually calloused towards Him, the very One who designed us to live in His presence. The One who is absolutely in love with us and obviously knows something more than we do that He would provide a way for eternal life through His Son, Jesus Christ, so that we, too, could overcome death. Yet, if we are living in fear of death or angry at God for "Why?" or "How?" or "When?", have we really overcome it?

I personally think it is a tragedy that most people avoid reading the story of Job in the Bible. I mean, yeah, it's a bit of a downer, but I believe God left it in there on purpose. Not to say, "Hey, look what you have to look forward to...life sucks and then you die!" but "You guys, I love you so much! Satan hates your guts and this book is evidence of how low he will go to turn your heart from me. You may not understand it all, but I love you! Just know that I love you and it won't always be like this!"

But "God allowed that horrible thing to happen! How can He be good?!" Yeah, you see the thing that sucks about living on earth is that Satan is real, whether we believe it or not, and because of what transpired in the Garden a heck of a long time ago, he still is working in the earth. HOWEVER, GUESS WHAT?! Something more beautiful happened in another Garden years later that changed death as we know it! You see, since God didn't design us to live outside of His physical presence, our bodies die. God provided a way, instead, through a sacrifice surrendered to in a Garden, literally over blood, sweat and tears, where His very own Son would remove from Satan the power over death. Jesus went on to die a most vivid and tortuous death, but that didn't mean Satan wouldn't try to pull that crap again with us. But it did really piss off the Devil and as a result, he hasn't changed his ways but continues to lie to us, coaxing us to believe that 'God isn't good because He let me have such and such a disease or so and so died at a young age or tragically or etc. etc'.

Jesus' whole message, His whole purpose, was all about life: to the full, eternal, abundant, everlasting. Recorded in Scripture, Jesus only said 'death' a couple of times, but 'life' is recorded throughout His ministry. Yet how many out there allow the idea of death to consume their thoughts and captivate their hearts? There was a reason Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow but to live one day at a time. There was a reason He said, "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has how come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live." John 5:24&25

See, abundant life isn't living in hopes you'll avoid death. Abundant life is living one day at a time to the fullest, enjoying the people around us, building memories, trusting that God is who He says He is, appreciating the little things and the big things, and graciously accepting that even though we don't understand the "How?" or "Why?", that physical death only looks final to the people still 'living' on earth...but in Heaven, it's just the beginning...and we win because He won and the Devil loses!

God's a gentleman...

...it's only when we are stubborn that He allows us to feel the consequences of our choices...

For anyone who thinks that God is a big meanie, exposing things in our lives that we'd rather have hidden, this has been on my heart and I really want to talk about it...we've all seen it on TV. Preachers, evangelists, public leaders, pastors, politicians, even private citizens...our private lives exposed in a public fashion, at least the choices we think we make in private. None of the choices we make in secret are truly just that...there is no such thing as a secret.

And when we try to keep things hidden in our lives, things that we think would actually shock others because it would reveal our imperfections, our temptations, our deepest, darkest longings, we actually believe that we've 'got it under control.' We've got it together. I am not trying to call anyone out on their sin. We all know that isn't fun! But that's what I'm talking about here...God first gently tugs at our hearts. It's like a gentle tap...you know someone touched your shoulder or called your name, but you turn around and you're alone. He lovingly will tell us privately, through conviction from the Holy Spirit, that something in our life does not line up with His divine plan for us. Sometimes, when we are listening and not too busy trying to perform, we obey His gentle nudge and experience grace and freedom. Too often at this level though, we take the grace for granted. Or, if we don't, we continue to press forward.

If we ignore His gentle nudge, the next one is probably through a friend, family member, or someone else we love and trust that would never want to damage our heart. God allows them to sense something in our life, not even necessarily telling them specifics, just leading them in a certain direction for prayer, and in their obedience, they talk to us, or just ask us how we are doing. Do we answer? Do we just say, "Fine." What do we do with that? Again, it's God nudging our hearts, convicting us of choices that don't benefit us or bring glory to Him, and, because we don't make choices in a vacuum, He's allowed others to pray for us so our eyes are opened. Do we pretend that everything is fine or do we take responsibility for our choices? Do we confide in our friends or do we try to work out our problems on our own, even when God opened the door for them to walk right into it...to walk with us? If we humble ourselves, we repent, admit our weaknesses and imperfections to those people who know we aren't perfect for all obvious reasons, our hearts are restored to God and healing begins to take place. Again, grace. But will our pride for posing as a perfectionist pose a problem?!

We all know how God has gently nudged us. We, the viewers, are the only ones shocked or surprised when TV announces publicly someones secret choices made in private. I guarantee that the party spoken of wasn't shocked in the least. It wasn't the first time God revealed that person's sin to them, but because the person desired it to be private, and God hates sin in our lives and wants it as far away from us as possible, He'll do what it takes to expose it so we can move on and begin living a life of grace, as He designed.

Only the Enemy of our hearts will tell us to hold onto our sins. Only the Devil will tell us that "it's not that big of a deal...everybody has struggles...no one needs to know about this one incidence...you haven't acted on it, you've only just entertained the thoughts...this is our little secret...hold onto that anger, they deserve your wrath...my choices don't affect others...it was only once, twice, 100 times..." Only Satan thinks it's a good idea to try to keep secrets from God. God, however, knows there is no such thing as a secret. He doesn't convict our hearts to be a big meanie or rule maker. He convicts our hearts because He hates sin and knows its effects on our lives, on our souls, in our minds, our spirits. He tells us, gently at first, because He's not shocked by anything we do, nor is He looking to run the other way...that's us...we do that...He's STEADY.

None of us have to experience public exposure of our sins if we are quick to listen to God's many warnings and gentle nudges. God really loves us that much...Do we really think anyone expects us to be perfect? He knows we aren't, that's what the cross was for...

Before my girlfriends and I became friends, I put this out there: "I'm not looking for friendship that is fluffy and shallow. I want you to tell me hard core truth, even if it hurts. That's the only kind of friendship I'm looking for, so if that's what you want, too, great...if not..." I'll admit it weeds it out for itself, but the women in my life that I love and love me in return know better than to blow sunshine at me. Even if it sucks to tell me that I SUCK, I want them to do that so that I can grow, change, seek forgiveness, seek God's will more hotly. Yes, I disappoint. I make poor choices. I hurt feelings. But the more quickly I get on my knees before God and humble myself to the person I have hurt, the more quickly I experience God's grace.

God said He will expose those things that are hidden, He will bring things hidden into the light. His heart behind it is so we can be close to Him...close to the very One Who created us, close to the God of the Universe that loves you more than life itself, therefore allowing His Son to die specifically for you...

Tell God about it...since He already knows...

Association

So, I am always curious and intrigued by the answers I hear from people when asked about their faith or what drives them. Typically when the answer of a person is a declarative membership to a specific denomination or organization, "I'm a Baptist...I'm a Presbyterian. I'm a Lutheran. I'm a Catholic. I'm a Mormon. I'm Unitarian. I'm non-denominational. I'm Charismatic. I'm New Age. I'm a follower of The Secret. I'm Christian Reformed. Dutch Reformed. Reformed Reformed. I'm Southern Baptist. I'm an Atheist. I'm Agnostic. I'm Muslim. I'm Jewish. I'm philanthropic. I'm Conservative Southern Baptist. I'm Evangelical Free. I'm Anglican. I'm Roman Catholic. I'm Orthodox. I'm Mennonite. I'm Republican. I'm Democrat. I'm Methodist..." I hesitate and wonder. I know the person desires to be associated with something bigger than themselves...kind of the point of religion and politics, ya know, but the fact that the first thing out of their mouths is the brand and type of their church or un-church, well, to me, it's always a red flag.

Now, before you go postal on me, I'm not judging you for belonging to a specific denomination. A long time ago I used to say emphatically that I was Catholic. After that, I made sure everyone who met me knew I was a Born-Again, Charismatic Christian. If you asked me today, I'd tell you that I love God with my whole heart and am so grateful He sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for me. I will only live for Him and I will die for Him only. I do not pledge my life or loyalties to the Pope, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Hagin, Beth Moore, Benny Hinn, Joel Osteen, Oprah, or any other big name 'evangelist' type, no matter their 'faith' or religion.

The only man that walked the earth that I would live and die for is Jesus Christ, who was 100% man and 100% God. The reason I am writing all this today is I feel strongly to encourage anyone reading to figure out Who or who you believe in and follow accordingly. The reason a denominational or organizational answer is a red flag to me is that some people associate more with their name brand church or community than they do with Christ, or whoever it is they believe in. Speaking specifically to people who associate themselves with the name "Christianity", the reality is, some people don't know jack squat about Jesus. They read more novels and watch more Oprah or 'JesusTV' than anything every written by the Creator of the Universe, ie the Bible and have no clue that this Jesus, the One way to God, made it possible to be free from the curse and live for eternity in Heaven, but they have no clue what Heaven is. "It's a nice idea and nice people go there, but bad guys don't..." Really? How do you know that? Did someone tell you or did you actually read it yourself? As a stay at home mom, some women find more comfort from reading whatever is on Oprah's Book Club or on her 'Favorite Things' episode than dusting off the family Bible and finding the true keys to abundant life. I don't hate Oprah, but she didn't die on a cross for me or for anyone else (just thought I'd throw that out there...)

Jesus didn't come to earth to say nice fluffy stuff that made people feel good and tingly. He didn't blow sunshine at people and say, "I'm the son of god." He said in response to this: "I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God," "Yes, it is as you say." Jesus didn't ever claim to be one way to God. He claimed to be the only way to God. He also never left God open for interpretation, meaning, whoever you think God is or who He is to you. This isn't like which pair of jeans fits you best or if you like your spinach fresh or sauteed.

This message does not have to be offensive...we either follow Jesus Christ or we don't. We know Jesus said He is coming soon. When that day arrives and we are asked about our faith, not our good intentions, our denomination or organizational membership, but our faith, what will our answer be?