INTENTION

Was it Venezuela?  Maybe Siberia?  It could have been St. Petersburg, Russia.

I don't remember now.

All I know is a million years ago when I was in my young 20's I met a teenager named Alece Ronzino...we met over a mutual love for the mission field.  I think she was a carnivalite because for some reason I can picture a painted triangle on her cheek, but mostly I remember her amazing smile, how her eyes lit up as she laughed, and her undeniable positive attitude in spite of our meager missionary circumstances.

Alece is a grown up now and has lived more life than I know she has wanted.  All of it, however, has molded and shaped her into the godly, authentic woman she is today.

We haven't kept in touch over the years, but we were reconnected thanks to small worlds and the Internet a couple years ago via our mutual friend, Sarah Markley...another godly, authentic woman.

Alece is the real deal.  Her blog, Grit and Glory, speaks for itself in the title.  I encourage you to head there and be challenged and inspired to draw closer to God's grace and unconditional love as a result of reading some of her story.

Anyway, why am I writing about Alece?  Well, she has founded a movement called "One Word 365" of basically putting into words what has been on my heart for quite some time now.  I encourage you to head there to check it out.

This post isn't actually about Alece, though I'm thankful to her for the creative way to share.  It's actually about:

I'm actually being intentional to physically write with ink and paper this year, as opposed to just typing...

INTENTION.  

And, if you noticed, I changed my blog to reflect the word some time ago...

Last year in early fall I began a Bible study with one friend that I know and love dearly and a room full of other women, some whose faces I knew and others I learned that day.  We had gathered to study the book of Daniel together and though I had read that particular chapter of the Bible a couple of times over the years, I wasn't sure what was in store for my heart.

All I knew was I was grateful for a setting where I didn't know everyone, I wasn't in charge, we had a focus and purpose, and I knew God would meet me face to face because time was being set apart specifically to study His word.

2012 was a year of intention for me, particularly in the area of loving myself.  I appreciate how it sounds, though I'm not talking about lipstick kisses on my mirror and splurges at the shoe store.  I'm talking about 40 years of not loving myself, never appreciating that God made me for a reason, hours, days, years spent wasted on hating myself, all the while giving the Devil more and more power over my thoughts, fears, and dreams.  The theme of loving myself manifested in many ways, especially in the pursuit of more time one on one with God's word.  On practical levels it showed up in outing myself as a closet eater, signing up for a massage of the month club, having more dates with my husband, telling the lies in my head to go to hell, sitting for hours reading Seuss to my 2 year old and other hours reading classics with my 10 year old.  I loved myself by flying to Austin, Texas, to meet old and new girlfriends intentional in the pursuit of sisterhood.  I re-launched my non-profit, Bevy Girls, and have loved the small group of women gathering with similar passion.  I sat with my 90+ grandpa and asked him important questions and held his hand as I listened.  I've had some good heart to hearts.  I bought a treadmill and some dumbbells.  I read more.  I listened.  I said yes.  I said no.

And there were many days where I totally screwed up and was intentional and hell-bent on hurting myself, not seeing myself as a person worthy of my own love, let alone feeling God's.

I think the theme for 2013 will be similar, however the wording is a little different and the focus.

I still am learning how to love myself.  However, I really don't like focusing on me.  It leaves a nasty aftertaste.

No, I want to live with INTENTION, sure in loving myself and taking care of myself, but first and foremost, intention with my dear and beautiful, gracious and loving God.  He's never been anything other than steady in my life.  He's loved and pursued me with intention, yet there have been seasons where I have not reciprocated.

Practical application of INTENTION:  In the Daniel study I am doing, the book starts out with Daniel being intentional in his health, study, leadership, and stewardship of gifts, and not for himself only and the benefits he would reap, but for God and His bigger picture.

It says that three times a day Daniel knelt down to give thanks to God.

It doesn't say he gave God a short order, every prayer request in the book, or a list as long as Santa's.

It says he knelt down three times a day and thanked God.

My translation:  Daniel was INTENTIONAL in his pursuit of God...and everything else followed thereafter.

So far as I've sat INTENTIONALLY with God, I haven't found my life to be perfect, however, I have found when I am INTENTIONAL about putting Him first, everything else is doable, even those things which appear insurmountable.

*Instead of a New Year's Resolution, what is one word you can focus on this year that will encourage and challenge you to be who you were designed to be?

Feel free to share it here or head over to this page and link up to the One Word 365 community.

Guest Blogging

Today you will find me at "Diving for Pearls."

Katie Wetherbee is a new friend, who is actually an old friend.  And by "old" I mean, she prayed for us during our journey with Noah through hearing of his blog.  Earlier this Spring we were able to email back and forth and finally share ear to ear.  I wish we lived where I could meet her face to face.

One night I sat and read through the story of Katie and her family.  She has it neatly organized on her blog, so it's easy to do.  (Sorry.  You won't find that here.  I'm still working on my organizational skills.)  It was like a book I could not put down, reading her words, her experiences and emotions, and being able to picture the hospital life she lived with her daughter because of our personal experience.

Katie is a beautiful woman and a wonderful new friend!  I love her heart and the core of the ministry she carries out on a daily basis.  Her blog states, "Helping children with special needs thrive at home, school, and church."  She is the Director of Education for Key Ministry.  This mission of Key Ministry is "to equip churches to welcome and include children and families affected by hidden disabilities in all aspects of the life of the church."  The website has great insight and resources to educate oneself and learn more about how we as a body of believers can build bridges and welcome every person into the walls of an actual church, and into the arms of a loving community.

As a mother, she is facing the out-of-state drive and delivery of her first born to college next fall, with a younger one still working through high school.  I have one in diapers still and another just exiting 4th Grade in two weeks.  We are in two very different phases of life, but I believe we all have much to learn from one another.

I hope you will head over to "Diving for Pearls" where Katie is launching the first of a series called "Messages from Moms," where yours truly is first out of the gates.

My heart in being part of this is to encourage families far and wide as they journey through parenting, no matter how it looks.  Our son Noah passed away, but the time he was on this Earth I would say he had some very special needs.  Had he lived, he would have been "labeled" as such and it would have been, and is, my heart, to know him intimately and love him especially the way he was, understanding his needs to help him flourish.  Just as I try to do with my other two.

A Fun Opportunity

So, I'm getting ready to re-launch my non-profit organization, Bevy, so I have been cleaning up some of my accounts.  I had neglected Twitter for several months because, well, frankly, I'm on Facebook more and hadn't really learned the ins and outs of Twitter...still don't really know them...

Anyway, yesterday I was updating my Twitter "bio" if you will, and took out the "Radio Show Host" part since I don't host my own show anymore.  Remember this:

Anyway, then, earlier this afternoon my friend Ginger sent me a text and asked if I wanted to jump in as a guest co-host on her friend's radio show tomorrow morning.

So, Jenny Dean Schmidt has graciously asked me to co-host her www.channelmom.com show bright and early on St. Patrick's Day.  And she didn't even know I'm a little Scotch-Irish...

We had a chance to speak earlier this afternoon and it was a great time of hearing each others' stories.  I'm looking forward to meeting her in person tomorrow as we interview two moms who are also both authors.

...And their topics:  Parenting and Food.

Huh....I'm a parent and I love to eat, so this should work out seemingly :)

Jenny was so excited because she had spent a little time on this blog and my Closet Eater Blog, so thinks I'll be a good fit for talking with the moms tomorrow.

We'll be interviewing Anne Wiggins, co-author of "Parenting from the Heights" and Beth Aldrich, author of "Real Moms Love to Eat."


So, who's with me?  Who wants to wake up at the crack of dawn and cheer me on LIVE?  Huh?  Huh?

Just go here tomorrow morning at 8:00 am Mountain Time:  www.channelmom.com and go to the channelmom Radio page and follow the instructions.

And, if you are local, it'll be on 93.7 FM

Goodnight!

If You Ask About a Muffin...

A couple of weeks ago I was looking in the display at a restaurant at what looked like a scrumptious gluten free blueberry muffin.  Of course I knew I wasn’t going to buy it, one because it’s still laden with sugar whether it’s gluten free or not, and two, because like most baked goods, it probably had been made with eggs, my biggest allergen.  But, nonetheless, I asked the girl behind the counter about the muffin.  She said they were amazing but, yes, had eggs and sugar.

Within ten minutes she went from telling me about the gluten free muffin to going Paleo to doing Crossfit to sharing her journey of addiction to alcohol, meth, and food…her son’s health issues involving ADD and ADHD, and how difficult it is to be a single mom, not totally healed of her addictions and how angry she is at God about it.

I listened.  I shared a little bit of my story of disappointment with God and losing a son and my addiction to food, how there is no such thing as a secret, that God's a Big Boy and can handle her anger, and that He’s totally and completely in love with her no matter where she is on her journey.  We exchanged names and I told her I would be praying for her and her son.  And I’ve done so, because just saying it doesn’t mean squat.

As I headed next door to meet my husband and some friends, I felt like an hour had passed learning all that I had.  I hadn't wanted to be rude to keep everyone waiting...

10 minutes.  

Only 10 minutes had passed and as I relayed some of the information I gained from hearing this woman’s heart, my husband’s buddy just looked at me…and then he looked at Jason.  And he said, “You were over there 10 minutes and you found out all of that?”  “Yep.  Everywhere we go.  She can find out your whole life story in 10 minutes.  It’s crazy,” Jason said.  “Teach me,” said his friend.  Jason told him it was a gift.

I think he’s wrong.  Respectfully saying so, mind you.

It’s not a gift.

I just think everyone is worth knowing.  Everyone.

I believe we all have a story and our stories are important.  Even more so, our stories are meant to be told.  Little by little, sharing along the way, telling bits of the story to those ready to listen, and listening to those who are ready to share.

Our stories are never complete.  They don’t have “choose your own ending” and aren’t meant to be compared to the next person’s.  Our stories are on-going, ever-changing and still unfolding.  If we wait for them to reach a place of “peace” or “stillness” or “happily ever after” in order to share, we’ll have missed out on the point...

We are here on this earth for God’s glory.  He gets the glory when we live out the story He has written for us, all the while sharing it with others.  We were designed to share.  Not if we feel comfortable with the task or not, but because in sharing others get to find healing, too.

In my opinion, we need to stop talking and start sharing.

Are you ready to start sharing your story?

A bit of news from around the world...

So, I have a new friend from Germany. Her name is Nicole and she introduced herself via email recently. Her English is great. My German...I'm not going to lie...it stinks. Thank God for Google translator! No, seriously, I learned how to sing "Stille Nacht" in 2nd grade and can count to "Ten" and use some manners, like "danke" and "bitte" and "gazundheit" (I actually have no idea if I even spelled these correctly, but you get the picture). She said she wasn't a fan of anonymity, so sent me a few photos and shared her story, along with an introduction. (I'd post pictures but did not ask her permission, nor will I include details w/o her permission...)

Anyway, you know how there have been people in blog world that have claimed to have sad, tragic stories and duped hundreds, if not thousands? Well, apparently Noah's YouTube video was claimed by some girl in Germany as being her cousin. This new friend, Nicole, who emailed me and has shared her beautiful story with me about her family, saw Noah's video and knew instantly it was "American"...she was sweet and said that it was because our hospitals look different, that theirs are more "white and sterile looking", but let's be honest, Americans stand out like sore thumbs...we need to work on that. Anyway, she contacted the girl who had even translated Noah's video into German and confronted her. The girl apparently retracted her statement and took her "claim" off the video.

Random. I know.

And yet, totally NOT RANDOM.

You see, through this other girl's attempt at recognition and attention, another woman, who told me had stopped praying and didn't think about God or His goodness anymore, found the story of a sweet boy, a true story, because seriously, who would make this stuff up, and realized for herself that "meeting him" via the Internet was God's way of drawing her back to Himself.

I'm personally not offended the other girl claimed to be Noah's cousin. I mean, who the heck wouldn't want to have been related to that handsome boy? Come on! But seriously, this isn't even about Noah...

It's about a lot of things:

• How God can use any means He desires to show His love for us.
  
• How He will turn anything satan intends for evil or our destruction into something for His own glory and our good.
  
• How He's big and not limited to our finiteness.
  
• How He refuses to, and was never meant to be, put into a box.

It's also about the fact that each of us is unique and quite extraordinary. Each of us has a story. God has designed us for beauty, and even though many of our stories have scars, and even open wounds, the beauty that lies deeper than the surface comes in not trying to live the story of another but to confidently trust that the story we are walking is the one before us...one designed by the Architect of the Universe...God's story. And the way we live it beautifully is by walking out our story one day at a time...

I really do hope that one day, that girl who claimed to be Noah's cousin, finds her story, with God at as the Lead and her at center stage. And I hope you do, too...