Trekking Around the World

Remember this?

It's been a while.  I wouldn't expect you to, but I sure do.  One night, 5 years ago last November, we had gotten some yummy Chinese take-out and were sitting in Noah's room at The Children's Hospital.  As we finished up and started cracking open our fortune cookies, I grabbed one and said, "This one's for Noah."  If you can see in the picture, that's medical tape, the kind that used to keep tubes and crap attached to my sweet boy.  We used it for other things, as you can see.

At the time I remember thinking, "Oh how great it would be if You would heal Noah, God, and we could go all over the world (a lifetime dream of mine) and tell everyone of Your faithfulness, love and power."  This was my initial response to reading, "You will step on the soil of many countries."

It's because I had seen myself with a grown son...remember?  And so I naturally thought it was Noah...since he was my only son at the time and all.  And Noah did step on the soil of many countries, so to speak, just not physically with his two sweet little feet.  His blog hit every continent before he died, but that wasn't quite what I had been thinking...

Well, fast forward 5 years.  This post isn't about Noah.  It's about how my heart leaps out of my chest every time I see pictures of a sweet mama and her boy, so very much in love, who are on a journey.  It's about how I can't get them out of my mind, not because I want to, but because God continues to put them on my heart, all throughout the day.

I have mentioned him here before, but I'm asking you not to turn away.  I KNOW reading about a kid that is dying is nothing less than gut-wrenching.  It's HARD.  It SUCKS.  It's a volume of books filled with descriptive words that can't really describe the heartache.  I freaking GET IT!  It's why hundreds stopped reading my blog after Noah died.  I understand.  It's not as fun as Pinterest or Facebook or a hundred million other things.

But I'm literally begging you to let your heart pray for Jarrett, Chelsea, Peyton, Conner and Trek, as they set off on a journey of living life to the fullest, one day at a time.

You see, someone close to them contacted me to pray for them...she had read Noah's blog and couldn't stop thinking about some of the similarities.


Here is where my heart is wrecked.  We never wanted Noah to be stuck in a hospital bed his whole freaking life.  That was never our dream for him...but because of a whole hellofalotta reasons, we were stuck.  There were days I dreamed of stealing him out of the hospital and taking him home...but we couldn't because we didn't have home health care at the time.  It was a big mess.  The closest I got to showing him the world was this...whoopdefreakingdo!


Anyway, Chelsea's heart is living out what I wished I could have done with Noah. 


Am I living vicariously through them?  Only the freedom part...I lived all the rest already.

Either way, my heart is crying out for them to RUN, PLAY, LAUGH, CRY, REST, STARE, LISTEN, SING, NUGGLE, SMOOCH, HOLD ON and LET GO all at once. 


I pray for God's love to fill every corner of their lives with such fullness that this time in their lives will ever be etched in their hearts.


I hate what they are going through but if I had it to do over, which I don't wish for, but if I could go back, I'd run like hell out of that hospital and live whatever amount of time I had with my boy, free from the beeps and meds and tubes and tests and pokes and drugs and smells and unknowns. 


I'd run.

I don't despise what we went through, I do have to say, because 5 years later, I'm grateful to at least have the perspective that life is short.  It's time to live, today, right now, to the fullest.  Time and the people in our lives are literally gifts from God for our joy. 


It's time you, or someone you know, stop holding back.


Hug tighter.


Kiss longer.


Stare at your children.


Laugh your ass off.


Play on the floor with your kids.


Tell your husband you love him.

Tell him you are sorry.


Hold hands.


Turn off your freaking television.  Hell, throw the damn thing away.


Forgive.

Stop caring what others think of you.

Trust God sees the bigger picture.  Relinquish the control you think you need to have.


Smile.

Listen.

Play.

Dream.


Live in wonder.

Baby Trek Atlas may not physically touch the soil of many countries in his short life time, but the way he's living with his big brothers and mommy and daddy who adore him...well, he's experiencing more love than many do in a lifetime.  And, if you spend some time reading his mama's blog, I would venture to guess he'll have you looking around, wondering what matters, and making a few changes and tweaks to what is important. 

That's Trek, a 9.5 month old, teaching us a thing or two.  That's him stepping on the soil of many countries...

Life is short.  How will you spend it?

Go Green

These are some veggies I've been juicing lately.  I couldn't rotate the picture for some reason, which is annoying, I know, but what has stood out to me the most as I've juiced one or two times a day is how colorful the foods are and how great I feel.  For some reason when I eat a salad or a plate full of sauteed veggies, I don't really notice that the colors are so vibrant!  This has GOT to be good for me!

Pretty much if you add lemon, lime, or fresh ginger to any juice recipe, it's a winner!

The veggies pictured previously did not create this smoothie.  I got it from the Juice Lady's recipe for Cherie's Awesome Green Smoothie.  Here is a link to more recipes.

Yes, it's thick.  I'm slowly chugging it as I post...

And just for fun, this is what I'm wearing as I post!  It's a snow day here in Colorado, so that's Em in the background with her friend, suiting up to head back outside for a second round of snow fun!  And me?  Well, several years ago I found that green treasure at the Goodwill Thrift Store.  You know you want one!  I couldn't resist buying it because it was SO retro and out there!  Jason and I shoveled the driveway together earlier today...and this is what I wore...I'm so glad he loves me even though I'm a weirdo!

So, I'm not going to lie.  The smoothie by Cherie Calbom is delicious, but it's thick going down.  Here's the recipe and then I'll share my thoughts:

• 1 Avocado, peeled and seeded, cut into chunks (I forgot to cut it into chunks)
• 1 cup raw spinach
• 1/2 English cucumber, peeled if not organic, cut into chunks (I used a regular one)
• juice of one lime (I used 1 Tbsp organic lime juice from my fridge)
• 1 Tbsp green powder of choice (I used Garden of Life Perfect Food RAW)
• top with 2-3 tsp ground almonds (I skipped this as I am avoiding nuts right now...)

Then it says, place the top 5 ingredients in a blender and blend well, until smooth.

Let's just say, I put it all in the blender and nothing happened.  I even have a high-powered blender.  I added a little water...this helped...for a little bit.  I added 8oz of water which finally allowed the ingredients to become a smoothie.

So, here's the deal.  It actually tastes good.  It really does.  But.  But.  But.  I had what I think is a brilliant idea, since, really this drink is like trying to chug guacamole...

Add one or two more avocadoes, some fresh cilantro, a tomato and salt, up the green powder to 2 Tbsp and double the lime, then serve with fresh veggies sticks, yummy root chips or corn chips.

Seriously, your kids (or your husband) won't know it's got spinach, cucumber or the green powder in it.  It's like that Deceptively Delicious book by Seinfeld's wife...except taken up a notch.

And, always, always, always eat this wearing your green retro snowsuit from the 70's.

If You Ask About a Muffin...

A couple of weeks ago I was looking in the display at a restaurant at what looked like a scrumptious gluten free blueberry muffin.  Of course I knew I wasn’t going to buy it, one because it’s still laden with sugar whether it’s gluten free or not, and two, because like most baked goods, it probably had been made with eggs, my biggest allergen.  But, nonetheless, I asked the girl behind the counter about the muffin.  She said they were amazing but, yes, had eggs and sugar.

Within ten minutes she went from telling me about the gluten free muffin to going Paleo to doing Crossfit to sharing her journey of addiction to alcohol, meth, and food…her son’s health issues involving ADD and ADHD, and how difficult it is to be a single mom, not totally healed of her addictions and how angry she is at God about it.

I listened.  I shared a little bit of my story of disappointment with God and losing a son and my addiction to food, how there is no such thing as a secret, that God's a Big Boy and can handle her anger, and that He’s totally and completely in love with her no matter where she is on her journey.  We exchanged names and I told her I would be praying for her and her son.  And I’ve done so, because just saying it doesn’t mean squat.

As I headed next door to meet my husband and some friends, I felt like an hour had passed learning all that I had.  I hadn't wanted to be rude to keep everyone waiting...

10 minutes.  

Only 10 minutes had passed and as I relayed some of the information I gained from hearing this woman’s heart, my husband’s buddy just looked at me…and then he looked at Jason.  And he said, “You were over there 10 minutes and you found out all of that?”  “Yep.  Everywhere we go.  She can find out your whole life story in 10 minutes.  It’s crazy,” Jason said.  “Teach me,” said his friend.  Jason told him it was a gift.

I think he’s wrong.  Respectfully saying so, mind you.

It’s not a gift.

I just think everyone is worth knowing.  Everyone.

I believe we all have a story and our stories are important.  Even more so, our stories are meant to be told.  Little by little, sharing along the way, telling bits of the story to those ready to listen, and listening to those who are ready to share.

Our stories are never complete.  They don’t have “choose your own ending” and aren’t meant to be compared to the next person’s.  Our stories are on-going, ever-changing and still unfolding.  If we wait for them to reach a place of “peace” or “stillness” or “happily ever after” in order to share, we’ll have missed out on the point...

We are here on this earth for God’s glory.  He gets the glory when we live out the story He has written for us, all the while sharing it with others.  We were designed to share.  Not if we feel comfortable with the task or not, but because in sharing others get to find healing, too.

In my opinion, we need to stop talking and start sharing.

Are you ready to start sharing your story?

Some thoughts on Secrets

I wanted to share my heart about an encounter I had last Friday with a person I've held a, well, really, really big grudge towards for 5 and 1/2 years.

I don't feel like writing it twice, so here it is. 

If you are of the persuasion that the little secrets you hide deep in your heart, you know the dirty little ones that don't hurt anyone else, are actual secrets, I'd challenge you to think again.

God knows everything.  Literally.  Every.  Thing.

So, if there's a secret locked up in your life that is holding you back from being all you were intended to be, well, let's just say God knows about it and He's not keen on things holding you back from living a full life that glorifies Him. 

First He gently nudges us to expose it ourselves.  Initially.  This is always a better route.  But seeing as how the human race is just a tad stubborn, at least my own private sector, who in their right mind would expose our own imperfections or faults willingly?

A few more nudges.  Some hints.  And then sometimes God just plops us in a situation where we have to face it.  A place that calls a spade a spade, and if we're open to it, and repentant, admitting our sin, He forgives.

God knows.  And He is faithful to allow us to go through our crap in order to take part in the good stuff.

No. Really. Head on over...

I'm going to be running through a series over at my "Confessions of a 2nd Grade Closet Eater" blog over the next several weeks.

If you or someone you know, love, or even hate, is at a crossroads, has hit a wall, is stuck on a gerbil wheel with no end in sight, send them over there, too.

As always, in my truest, most candid form, I'll give you my guts.

And hopefully, that'll encourage yours.